Cornell Engineering Essay - for the Artificially Intelligent

Prompt:

Cornell Engineering celebrates innovative problem solving that helps people, communities...the world. Consider your ideas and aspirations and describe how a Cornell Engineering education would allow you to leverage technological problem-solving to improve the world we live in. (Please limit your response to 650 words.)

Essay:

I love games. Creating them, that is. Games are how I became interested in computer science, and though I've moved far beyond game design, I remain addicted to the possibilities computer science offers. From game design, I started attending hackathons and became interested in my school's robotics team. I attended summer courses in robotics, took EdX courses in computational design, and immersed myself in artificial intelligence.

In the general field of computer science and robotics, I am fascinated by the concept of machine learning. These algorithms have the potential to bring a computer or a robot closer to advanced human abilities. My first adventure with machine learning was inspired by a hackathon I attended in Long Island, NY. Our team developed a simulator for self-driving cars and demoed the simulator using a machine learning algorithm we developed with the help of Coursera. The machine learning demo set our simulator apart and helped us win the first-place prize. Artificial intelligence can be applied to robotics, and I'm excited to see where it will go.

I'm drawn to the possibility of confluence between traditional computing and human intelligence. My current interest is realizing artificial intelligence through machine learning techniques and neural nets. I consider how neural nets apply to the field of natural languages, which humans pick up easily, but remains difficult for computers to grasp. Throughout human history, we have been limited by computing power and the imagination of our own minds. With the power of computer science, we have augmented the human mind through fast computing, a feat that has transformed human civilization in a matter of three decades. Through artificial intelligence, we have the power of computing married to our ability to imagine and learn. This enables us to perform tasks that neither humans nor computers could accomplish. AI is an opportunity to revolutionize industries such as health, communications, entertainment, research, manufacturing and business.

I love to interact and work together with people. Cornell is the world's epitome of intellectual diversity. I won't be surrounded by only techies or entrepreneurs, but by artists, designers, policy makers and people of social value. These are the types of people I want to associate myself with - thinkers, innovators, intellectuals. These people make the best teammates and will provide an excellent environment for development. Intellectual diversity is a way for me to understand peoples' motivations and thought processes. Today's artificial intelligence is biased, and I want to help remove that bias by understanding many different types of people.

I want to be surrounded by the work of people with a mission, and I hunger for role models Cornell routinely churns out. I want to understand the work of Professor Artzi with language manifestation and understand the way Professor Hoffman can make people connect and trust robots. I want to work with thinkers who take it upon themselves to create radical research. Cornell's diverse campus is the perfect incubator for my advancement.

After leaving Cornell, I plan on exploring entrepreneurship and business to see the best way I can reach out to people. I've always had an interest in entrepreneurship, and I want to compliment that with an education that gives me the technical abilities to solve problems. I believe the education I would receive at Cornell's engineering school would enable me to make these lasting impacts in robotics and computer science.

What if computer intelligence and the human mind could interface as one being? What if we didn't have to interact with computers through our senses, but could collaborate with machines and enhance our own capabilities? What if computers could imagine? These are questions I hope to answer with the education Cornell offers. Artificial intelligence can revolutionize productivity and change the way we live. One day, we will trust a robot to perform brain surgery for us. I want to contribute and make lasting impacts, and I look to Cornell University for inspiration.

I know the break-up into these 2 lines "I love games. Creating them, that is. " is supposed to be kind of cute or clever, but honestly due to flow and just overall readability, I would combine them.

I really like that you added in actual professor's names. It shows you did your research which is always a good way to make a decent to good first impression.

Aman, Cornell is asking you to provide an extended discussion of your potential thesis paper. Pose the question or AI design that you have in mind for creating for your final year project. Then explain its real world applications. After you give that overview, you can go into a detailed explanation of the cutting edge courses that Cornell offers which, under the tutelage of various notable professors, will allow you to leverage technical problem solving to improve the world we live in. It would be best if you had a solid plan to present instead of your current presentation which is composed of a little bit of everything but without a particular purpose or cause for being. Currently, your explanation delves more on the personal statement side of the discussion rather than the purpose behind your education or the innovative ideas that you can bring with you to Cornell that the university can help you develop and highlight as you near the realization of your dream to become an AI scientist.

@Holt thank's so much for your comment! Let me know if you think this essay speaks to my interests better:

My Amazon Echo is great. It helps my mother find playlists, entertains my father by playing NPR in the morning and plays knock-knock jokes for my baby brother. What if it could do more? We all know the phrase, "two brains are better than one", but I want to make it a reality. What if artificial intelligence isn't merely a digital assistant like Mark Zuckerberg's Jarvis, but instead a truly integrated extension of our minds? I'm deeply curious about the possible confluence between traditional artificial intelligence and our human brain. At Cornell, I hope to prove that a computer can accept and analyze data from our senses.

Computer intelligence and the human mind should interface as one being. What if we didn't have to interact with computers through our senses, but could collaborate with machines and enhance our own capabilities? What if computers could imagine?

The implications of such a project would be enormous. We could calculate complex equations live, immediately understand trends across spreadsheets, and search our environment more efficiently (for example, if you lost your keys on a messy desk). An integrated and truly intelligent system can learn from the same experiences its human can, develop emotion and understand intent. It would revolutionize our productivity and permanently impact humanity.

I'm not just dreaming. My work in machine learning and AI so far has been limited to self-driving cars and basic language processing that I developed at a hackathon in Long Island with the help of Coursera. I'm invested in completing this project, and Cornell University is the perfect place for it. Humans can pick up natural language but computers find it difficult to grasp. Understanding Professor Artzi's work on language manifestation can help solve this roadblock. To create a meaningful connection between the human and a computer a certain level of trust must be achieved. Professor Hoffman's work on human-robot interaction can provide the catalyst for reaching my idea out to the world. I want to work with thinkers who take it upon themselves to create radical research.

Cornell University's computer science program is world-renowned for its depth and applications. Since 2002, Cornell's AI department has won dozens of awards for research papers. My absolute favorite inspiration from Cornell is Professor Bart Selman and Professor Joseph Halpern's work in Decision Theory with Elon Musk. Professor Selman states that "we are in a period in history when we start using these machines to make judgments." Decision theory is a major part of future AI programs and is an integral part of my vision of integrated combined intelligence. Cornell's computer science program undeniably leads the world in artificial intelligence.

Cornell is the world's epitome of intellectual diversity. In addition to engineers, I'll be surrounded by artists, designers, policy makers, entrepreneurs and people of social value. These are the types of people I want to associate myself with - thinkers, innovators, intellectuals. Intellectual diversity is a way for me to understand people's motivations and thought processes. Today's artificial intelligence is biased, and I want to help remove that bias by understanding many different types of people. Cornell's diverse campus is the perfect incubator for my advancement.

Whenever I look at my family's Amazon Echo, all I can see are the possibilities. One day, we will trust a robot to perform brain surgery for us. The only question is when. We're on the brink of creating a productivity revolution like the computer revolution 3 decades ago. Cornell University is spearheading this movement, and I want to be a part of it.

Thanks so much!

Yes, this definitely speaks to your interests on a better scale than the first version. Consider that you have thoroughly explained your futuristic idea and how Cornell can help you achieve that. I would just like you to consider editing one part of this essay. The portion in the 4th paragraph about how Cornell has won awards and the mention of the world class education isn't really necessary. The reviewer is well aware of these types of information. So it just takes away precious word count from the full development of your essay. Remove the paragraph since it does not serve a purpose in advancing your discussion. You can replace it with some other information if you wish. It is not really necessary to do so though.