If anyone could read this and edit for grammar, spelling, punctuation I would really appreciate it. Any criticisms are also greatly appreciated, does the essay answer the prompt?
The directions state that the answer should be APPROXIMATELY 250 WORDS.
I have 288 words, is that going to be okay, should I condense more, should I add more, is the message clear? Thanks anyone who can help!! :)
Aboard a vessel at sea, under the Costa Rican sky, I was about to venture to an underwater world for the first time. My dive partner and I suited up; we shared our enthusiasm in a language not my own-my world expanded. Diversity connected us rather than divided; having to trust each other as scuba buddies established a bond that looked beyond borders.
Afterward, lunch was served; Sofia shared with me fresh carambola (star fruit) and we chatted about our lives. There was immediate connection; we both love coffee, she has a monkey-I have a cat, we both play the guitar, and neither of us watch much television. She taught me how to name the ocean life in Spanish and I attempted to describe snowflakes. Sofia and I are very different, she comes from a large Catholic family; I grew up in a liberal home with a single mother and two sisters, but conversation carried on as if we were childhood friends. Nobody would have guessed that we just met and lived 2,300 miles apart.
I realized that distance, skin color, and language shouldn't get in the way of friendship; amazing people are all over the globe just waiting to be discovered. With an open mind and heart the possibilities are endless. It's refreshing to encounter new cultures, underwater and above. I left Costa Rica with unforgettable experiences and most importantly a friend. Connecting with people across the globe helps people appreciate differences and co-exist peacefully. I want to continue opening my mind to new cultures and people, attending the University of Michigan will do just that. I am one of six billion and counting, but I am one vibrant fish in the sea.
The directions state that the answer should be APPROXIMATELY 250 WORDS.
I have 288 words, is that going to be okay, should I condense more, should I add more, is the message clear? Thanks anyone who can help!! :)
Aboard a vessel at sea, under the Costa Rican sky, I was about to venture to an underwater world for the first time. My dive partner and I suited up; we shared our enthusiasm in a language not my own-my world expanded. Diversity connected us rather than divided; having to trust each other as scuba buddies established a bond that looked beyond borders.
Afterward, lunch was served; Sofia shared with me fresh carambola (star fruit) and we chatted about our lives. There was immediate connection; we both love coffee, she has a monkey-I have a cat, we both play the guitar, and neither of us watch much television. She taught me how to name the ocean life in Spanish and I attempted to describe snowflakes. Sofia and I are very different, she comes from a large Catholic family; I grew up in a liberal home with a single mother and two sisters, but conversation carried on as if we were childhood friends. Nobody would have guessed that we just met and lived 2,300 miles apart.
I realized that distance, skin color, and language shouldn't get in the way of friendship; amazing people are all over the globe just waiting to be discovered. With an open mind and heart the possibilities are endless. It's refreshing to encounter new cultures, underwater and above. I left Costa Rica with unforgettable experiences and most importantly a friend. Connecting with people across the globe helps people appreciate differences and co-exist peacefully. I want to continue opening my mind to new cultures and people, attending the University of Michigan will do just that. I am one of six billion and counting, but I am one vibrant fish in the sea.
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