Let's Crap Detect: Stanford Intellectual Activity Supp

The prompt is: Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

Any comments on this essay would since I'm turning it in early. My main concern is whether I answer the prompt directly enough. I'm also worried about my ending and how it looks. I was running out of ideas. Thanks for the help! Will critique back, just leave the link.

My crap detector alarms were blaring as I read over the "Vote Yes On Measure Z!" pamphlet laying on my kitchen counter. The mini billboards advocating the same message had taken over the street corners of my town, so I felt obligated to learn more about this ubiquitous Measure Z. The pamphlet described it as a nearly flawless plan. Measure Z would allow the local college to build more facilities that would not only be open to residents but also be built without taxpayer funding. However, if my crap detecting senses were on, then I must have missed something.

Oh, sorry for not clarifying what "crap-detect" means. I must admit it is a suggestive term. Simply stated, to "crap-detect" means thoroughly analyzing a text and pointing out any conspicuous points with what it says. My US history teacher Mr. Wiedenmann coined the term and it quickly became an integral part of my learning as I detected the crap out of monumental events like the Vietnam War. Crap detecting transported me directly into history; I no longer watched President Ike respond to the launch of Sputnik but I became him, forced to know the delicate effects that entailed any response. Every "simple" decision by a president was in fact hugely complex and often had consequences unbeknownst to me. That was the beauty of crap detecting, to allow one to see what he had completely missed before.

I reread the details and noticed how the pamphlet endlessly emphasized that only the things proposed would be built. Why the emphasis? What counterpoint had No-Voters created that pushed Z supporters to this emphasis? Not satisfied, I went online to find out and discovered how Measure Z would allow the college to bypass planning laws for future projects. I had found the crap.

Whenever a big issue comes into discussion, I can't help but want to crap detect both sides. We live in an era in which the entire truth is rarely told but for me, crap detecting allows me to see that entirety. And plus, nothing smells quite as sweet as crap.

blackpixel23

Hello,

I have graded your essay and it received a grade of 84/100. This a great start. I think your essay is good in terms of subject matter, but it really does not answer the prompt correctly. When Stanford says "intellectual vitality," they want to see examples of how you took an assignment or anything thing else to the NEXT LEVEL. Your essay basically talks about how this assignment and its method has changed your life. Stanford wants to see how students take control of their curiosity by exploring subjects that interest them above and beyond whats called for in an assignment. We can help you transform this essay. Aside from a few misspelled words and a few incorrectly structured sentences, your essay reads smoothly. Please let me know if I can be of more assistance.

Thanks

I laugh the crap out of me after reading this essay! Wonderful essay with interesting use of your 'crap detecting' skillz in unexpected areas of your life.

However, I have to say that while the experience in the classroom is relevant, it did not reveal to us how valuable crap detecting skills is. Without this revelation, it is hard to let the reader know how your are actually intellectually engaged. What I would prefer to see is actually the one experience you had that made you "realize" the importance of crap detecting skills. Something like, "how can I get more information out of this" or something. This way we will not only see what crap detecting is all about, but also see your thought processes that make the experience an intellectually engaged one.

Really surprisingly well thought topic. At first I thought it is something about your boring history class. lol

G L~

This is great!"I guess I am actually"crap detecting" your essay now...So let's see...Overall it's really great,the writing is very engaging and the whole thing is intelligently written.I actually do think you answered the prompt.A brief discussion at the end about how this skill of crap detection "engaged" you intellectually would help you to answer the prompt absolutely.

I think it is a great start. The humor in it engages the reader, a statement at the end of why this experience possess a sense of intellectual vitality would be beneficial.

Thanks for all the comments. I decided to intertwine a personal example into essay to show how I use the art of crap detecting. I also added a newish conclusion. However, now it's 2000 characters when it needs to be 1800 max. Please point out stuff to chop down and tell me whether this is better than the old one. Thanks so much and again, I will read yours if you post the link.

I think you either meant to say "one problem with it: its name" or "encountered a problem with its name."

Thanks for that comment but in the new version I took that out.

"And plus, nothing smells quite as sweet as crap."

I really hope you do not add this to your final essay. There is a high risk that you will put off a few AOs. Because it appears at the end of your essay, this will remain on their mind. Essays should always help your application, not the opposite. On the other hand, I think your revision is better, but not as strong as it needs to be. You will be competing against students who found a rock on the floor, picked it up. Put it under a microscope and analyzed its composition. They really want to see a high sense of intellectual curiosity. I hope this helps.

Dwayne