How Cross Country changed my life (150 words)- activity statement

quinnfire32 1 / 1

Dec 11, 2010 #1

Here is my 150 word activity statement for the common app. I was hoping someone could critique it to help me improve it.

As I began my run through the early morning frost, I realized that it was my favorite run of the week. To most people on the cross country team attending Saturday morning practice is "optional". It is far too early, includes the longest run of the week, and involves cleaning out the stands. To me though, it is time to clear my mind after a long week of school, and prepare for the weekend ahead. It is also my time to improve as a runner. Before joining cross country I would never have imagined waking up early on a Saturday, let alone running. Those Saturday morning practices showed me that I had to be completely committed to the sport to succeed. I now run up to five miles daily, and my vast improvement has shown me the value of hard work and dedication not only to running, but to life.

aelee523 3 / 8

Dec 11, 2010 #2

"As I began my run through the early morning frost, I realized that it was my favorite run of the week." change that it was my, to i realized that this was my favorite run of the week.

"imagined waking up early on a Saturday, let alone running" say: let alone to run. It makes this more concise.

hope this helps
good luck :)

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053

Dec 21, 2010 #3

At the end, stop it before going too far:
shown me the value of hard work and dedication. ~~not only to running, but to life.~~

:-)

Also, trim here:
To me ~~though~~ , it is time...

Great topic, but you can dig deeper. It is still too common this way. You make it unique by talking about the Sat morning practice and the additional challenges, but still there is deep meditative focus in running that you can relate somehow to your vision of the future. How will this meditation help you in the future? It definitely will, because unless someone practices another form of meditation you have an advantage over them because of this state of mind you now know so well. Give a bit more of your unique way of expressing the insight that comes with running.