This is my essay for Common App that I'm using for Stanford's early restrictive action. Does it have enough connections to show the admissions officers who I am?
If I closed my eyes, I would be enveloped by the orchestral sounds of horns honking, people chattering, and footsteps hitting the pavement. If I opened them, bright lights, tall buildings, crowds of people, and billboard signs would encompass my line of sight. Inside, an intermingling surge of excitement and satisfaction would overwhelm my senses and emotions.
There's always something I find mesmerizing about huge cities. Perhaps the vitality and pulse that drive modern city life blend with every city's unique history to create a sense of enchantment. Every characteristic of a city offers its own sense of magic to the metropolitan lifestyle. If my desires were socially acceptable, I would dance down a busy street and swing around a lamppost, or belt out tunes from a Broadway musical. Nothing can compare to the sensation of journeying around Times Square at 11 p.m., staring wide-eyed at the reflecting buildings with huge, colorful screens built onto the windows. In fact, Fitzgerald's poignant descriptions of New York City captivated me to the point where I not only fell in love with The Great Gatsby, but also with the aspects of allurement and adventure that embrace large cities. My favorite composer, George Gershwin, achieved a similar feeling with an added texture of vivaciousness through his passionate, jazzy composition, Rhapsody in Blue, which happens to purposefully describe an energetic, animated city through music.
I only perceive the feeling of ease in a certain environment if the urge to dance cultivates within my soul. I have always held a special place in my heart for art because of the freedom of expression that it allows. Whether I'm gazing out onto the Golden Gate Bridge, wandering around the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, or taking a stroll around 5th Avenue, I can always feel within my bones the yearning to get up and spread my wings. The enthusiasm within me has reached its boiling point and can no longer be contained. My feelings of euphoria need to bubble out and make me squeal like a kettle just so I can show the world exactly how I feel. Unfortunately, emotions cannot physically protrude from my being, so the only way I can express my delight in the world around me is by leaping and spreading my limbs out to symbolize my feelings of freedom and satisfaction with the limitless possibilities for my dreams and goals of success beyond high school and beyond college.
On the other hand, the urban ambiance at night lulls my senses and sways me to sleep. It assuages me and diffuses a mindset of ataraxia to relax the mental tension and anxiety that stress from school, band, and work stirs up. One of my secret enjoyments in life is sitting in a car on the highway driving around downtown Houston at night in complete and utter silence, and all that is visible are the bright lights from the skyscrapers and neighboring cars. I could close my eyes and twirl around for eternity if it meant preserving this sensation of peace and serenity. Ironically, I find tranquility in a bustling environment, whereas others typically find their peace in the serene surroundings of nature. But I suppose one of my quirks is that noisy, stressful, tireless, fast-paced environments allow me to slow down time and enjoy the present.
No matter where I am in the world, so long as I find myself surrounded by crowds of hustling and bustling people going about their everyday lives, I will be able to stop and appreciate the beauty of life because I'll be standing in the very place that suits me best, a vibrant, lively city. There's no specific need for towering skyscrapers or flashy billboards, only streets abounding with people and the sounds of an active, dynamic environment performing their symphony to me.
I think this essay is really good! It's very descriptive and lets gives its reader a true sense of how you see the world. I would just maybe get to the point a little faster. Emphasize the fact that it's not necessarily the city life that comforts you, but an "active, dynamic environment" that makes you feel at home. Hope this helped! PLEASE take a look at mine!
