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'As a Culture mixer.' - Essay



DonnyWang 1 / 2  
Nov 29, 2011   #1
Each of my grandparents comes from four different cities, and I was born in Hohhot, the capital of Inner Mongolia in mainland China. I spent most time of my childhood in the city; it was a good opportunity for me to get in touch with the history and traditions of the Mongolian people and Muslim Culture. When I was 7 years old, my parents moved to Beijing, China, for their jobs. As a result, I needed to travel from one city to another constantly. At a very young age, I considered myself a perpetual newcomer who needed to try to adapt to new worlds of wonders.

The same story took place when I was a freshman in high school. Some part of my family moved to Calgary, Canada, and they made a decision to send me to America to have a better education.

To be honest, as a "culture shocker", this experience was not really exhilarating for me. There are many hardships if you are not familiar with that country you live in. I still have many problems and conflicts even though I have been living in the United States for two years. However, being an international student has been a very precious experience in my life. There are always people who help me and take care of me when I have a difficult time. Having relationships with great and helpful people has been good for me. I especially appreciate my parents, and am most thankful to them. They are valuable advisors because they supported me to study aboard so I can see the world with open eyes. They always respect my opinion and plans for my future. I certainly can believe they are always my supporters in my entire life.

When I moved to Vermont from China, I felt I had come to a new world. This area has many differences from my home country. At first, I was afraid to communicate with people in English, even though I had visited the United States before. My friends in school and church helped me to improve my English skills and understand the American culture. Eventually, I realized it is really interesting to meet a diverse range of people in a new place.

From a "culture shocker" to a "culture mixer", I learned, gained, became more mature no longer afraid adapt to the new world. My future is now planned, and I am sure that I want to be a part of international relations workers by using my advantage of understanding diverse cultures.

Equipped with all my former experiences, I am ready to accept every potential challenge in your university.

EF_Susan - / 2310  
Dec 1, 2011   #3
Each of my four grandparents comes from four different cities, and I was born in Hohhot, the capital of Inner Mongolia in mainland China.

I spent most time of my childhood in the city; it was a good opportunity for me to get in touch with the history and traditions of the Mongolian people and Muslim Culture.

Some part of my family moved to Calgary, Canada, and they made a decision to send me to America to have a better education.---America or Canada?

To be honest, as a "culture shocker ", this experience was not really exhilarating for me.

They are valuable advisers because they supported me in studying abroad so I can see the world with open eyes.

From a "culture shocker" to a "culture mixer", I learned, gained, became more mature, no longer afraid adapt to the new world.

Great essay! I was very surprised to learn that people in Mongolia are Muslim! I guess it's true that you learn something new every day! Good luck with school and have fun!

:)
npnpnp 2 / 8  
Dec 1, 2011   #4
the city; it was a

I believe you don't need that semicolon. Why don't you make it into a sentence?

This area has many differences from my home country
Awkward. Might want to change that.

There are many hardships if you are not familiar with that country you live in.
I am not sure what you mean.

Having relationships with great and helpful people has been good for me.
might want to rephrase

I certainly can believe they are always my supporters in my entire life.
Might want to rephrase

I liked you essay. But I think you need to rephrase some sentences because they are sounding awkward. Sorry if i'm harsh! :)
OP DonnyWang 1 / 2  
Dec 6, 2011   #5
Thank you very much, your help is important to me.


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