should I add some specific and solid examples which make the entire essay more coherent?
My sister was accepted to Emory. For this specific question, I recommend definitely adding some specifics such as the events they have that you're interested in, the professors whom you'd like to work with, the traditions emory holds annually. The point of this essay is to see if you really know what Emory is and that you know what to expect out of it. Much of the things you've listed seem somewhat... trite.
I define myself 'curious and open', a boy ready and willing to explore new things and encounter elites from all over the world. When I searched carefully on-line which university fits my future development and ideal, the name 'Emory' immediately drew my attention. Emory University is as academically prestigious as culturally diversified. I am confident that in such a wonderful and challenging atmosphere, I will bring an instrumental contribution to the campus.
That paragraph can be taken out. it sounds good but says nothing that they want to hear.
find Emory University a particular good match for me because of its diversity and its rich resources. Once I utilize them fully and wisely, my future will be a promising one. Emory University has its distinctive small classes for undergraduates which is similar to those provided by liberal arts colleges. Receiving much attention from professors and cooperating with people around is what I long for and desire.
i'd say extend on this. research and look into what Emory is.
best of luck!
