Hi, Can I please get help with having my essay revised? Any advice to make it better?
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Many other construction workers would've easily been able to create their own proposals, but my dad is a self-employed worker with no high school education and no idea how to use a computer. Throughout my teenage years I've served as my father's secretary, writing proposals for his jobs and contacting his clients. I consider my dad as the central figure in my life because he's always served to me as a clear representation of a physical laborer with little education, coming to this country from Mexico, in order for me to achieve a better life. While the stereotypical Latino construction worker job would embarrass many teens, it has only driven me to push myself to excel. I've first handedly glimpsed the dangerous work environment filled with hazardous machinery and physically demanding labor. I see my dad in in his dirt-covered tank top and shorts, and concrete spattered boots, burnt from a long day under the scorching sun. There are days that he may come with a scrape, or an injury as severe as to the point of facing a long-term foot fracture he suffers from to this day. I observe all the adversity my father deals with, and I know that this is not the life I want. As I see the struggle my dad faces every day as he tiredly returns from his job, I'm motivated to work harder and persevere, to surpass my dad and attain the life he unfortunately could not. Surrounded by many people like my dad, in my low-income Latino community, I can't help but imagine the endless possibilities if they had the opportunity to succeed. I dream of a future where I can help communities like my own to thrive and obtain a prosperity that may continue to be passed down for generations to come. I believe that a college education is the gateway to achieving my dream, as it'll enlighten me and give me the prowess necessary to get out and execute my dreams. I aspire to pursue a major in economics, which will give me skills that may allow me to fully analyze the socioeconomic conditions of communities such as mine, as well as determine how I may better such conditions. I also perceive college as a time to broaden my mind, and possibly discover more about who I am and where I come from. With programs such as Chicano Studies and accessibility to many Latino resources, I desire to learn more about my culture in order to grasp a better understanding of the many struggles that minority communities face. By obtaining a greater knowledge, I believe that I may reach my dreams of ameliorating places such as where I grew up. I dream of a better tomorrow in all the barrios and ghettos. I dream of a better future in which no Latino community will face the struggles that my dad has faced. (482)
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Many other construction workers would've easily been able to create their own proposals, but my dad is a self-employed worker with no high school education and no idea how to use a computer. Throughout my teenage years I've served as my father's secretary, writing proposals for his jobs and contacting his clients. I consider my dad as the central figure in my life because he's always served to me as a clear representation of a physical laborer with little education, coming to this country from Mexico, in order for me to achieve a better life. While the stereotypical Latino construction worker job would embarrass many teens, it has only driven me to push myself to excel. I've first handedly glimpsed the dangerous work environment filled with hazardous machinery and physically demanding labor. I see my dad in in his dirt-covered tank top and shorts, and concrete spattered boots, burnt from a long day under the scorching sun. There are days that he may come with a scrape, or an injury as severe as to the point of facing a long-term foot fracture he suffers from to this day. I observe all the adversity my father deals with, and I know that this is not the life I want. As I see the struggle my dad faces every day as he tiredly returns from his job, I'm motivated to work harder and persevere, to surpass my dad and attain the life he unfortunately could not. Surrounded by many people like my dad, in my low-income Latino community, I can't help but imagine the endless possibilities if they had the opportunity to succeed. I dream of a future where I can help communities like my own to thrive and obtain a prosperity that may continue to be passed down for generations to come. I believe that a college education is the gateway to achieving my dream, as it'll enlighten me and give me the prowess necessary to get out and execute my dreams. I aspire to pursue a major in economics, which will give me skills that may allow me to fully analyze the socioeconomic conditions of communities such as mine, as well as determine how I may better such conditions. I also perceive college as a time to broaden my mind, and possibly discover more about who I am and where I come from. With programs such as Chicano Studies and accessibility to many Latino resources, I desire to learn more about my culture in order to grasp a better understanding of the many struggles that minority communities face. By obtaining a greater knowledge, I believe that I may reach my dreams of ameliorating places such as where I grew up. I dream of a better tomorrow in all the barrios and ghettos. I dream of a better future in which no Latino community will face the struggles that my dad has faced. (482)
