Hello all! after reading some great essay reviews on this website i thought it might help me if i were to post mine for review as well. i am not the best writer out there but i really tried to write from my heart. please critique as harshly as you possibly can! thank you!
University of California Prompt #2- Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution, or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Dance is my inspiration, my safe-haven, and the source of my confidence. As a baby, I was well known for being a talented wiggle worm with a flair for rhythm. My mother recognized my love for dance and enrolled me in ballet and tap classes for my third birthday. After a year of dance classes, the first recital arrived. It was my first performance, and I was overwhelmed with stage fright and thoughts that kept running through my head. What if I forget the dance? My instructor led me and my fellow dancers out onto the stage. Our dance number was announced, the music was queued, and I started to dance to "The Hokey Pokey". At the end of the number, everyone applauded, the lights dimmed, and we all ran off the stage. There was a feeling of relief and a rush of adrenaline as I had just successfully performed my first number in front of an actual audience. It was at that moment that my eleven year recreational and competitive dance career had kicked off.
Since I've started dancing at the age of three, I've always been on the go with classes sometimes six days a week. At times, dance can get frustrating, especially when struggling with a technique, but I never give up because as a dancer, I learned discipline. One time I got so frustrated when my dance instructor choreographed a fouette into our dance. I didn't even know what a fouette was! After my instructor explained it to me, I started working on it. I knew how to do it, but not without moving at least a foot from where I started the fouette, which was really frustrating. After weeks of practice, I finally got it and was ecstatic. Even though it wasn't perfect, there was no better feeling than being able to run to my mother and share my success with her. To me, dance is about being able to learn new things, have fun with friends, and express myself through dance. It is very important to me in that if I ever had a bad day, it would always end on a good note because of dance. I would go to my class, forget about everything else, and focus solely on my dancing.
By the end of eighth grade, I decided that I should try something new since I was about to start high school. Since my high school didn't have a dance team, I decided that after eleven years of dance, I would try out for my high school cheer squad. Tryouts came around, and it was time to showcase my talent. I wasn't as nervous as I expected to be, but I guess that came from years of performing. I was confident in my tryouts, and I knew that I had done my best. That year, I made junior varsity and now I'm currently on the varsity squad. It's hard to think of what life would've been like if I never danced because I learned so many life lessons that have shaped who I am. At times, life can be difficult, but because of my self-discipline or confidence, I'm able to accomplish the task at hand. I just tell myself to never underestimate myself in any way. I am proud to be a dancer because of what I've learned, what I've accomplished, and what I've become.
University of California Prompt #2- Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution, or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Dance is my inspiration, my safe-haven, and the source of my confidence. As a baby, I was well known for being a talented wiggle worm with a flair for rhythm. My mother recognized my love for dance and enrolled me in ballet and tap classes for my third birthday. After a year of dance classes, the first recital arrived. It was my first performance, and I was overwhelmed with stage fright and thoughts that kept running through my head. What if I forget the dance? My instructor led me and my fellow dancers out onto the stage. Our dance number was announced, the music was queued, and I started to dance to "The Hokey Pokey". At the end of the number, everyone applauded, the lights dimmed, and we all ran off the stage. There was a feeling of relief and a rush of adrenaline as I had just successfully performed my first number in front of an actual audience. It was at that moment that my eleven year recreational and competitive dance career had kicked off.
Since I've started dancing at the age of three, I've always been on the go with classes sometimes six days a week. At times, dance can get frustrating, especially when struggling with a technique, but I never give up because as a dancer, I learned discipline. One time I got so frustrated when my dance instructor choreographed a fouette into our dance. I didn't even know what a fouette was! After my instructor explained it to me, I started working on it. I knew how to do it, but not without moving at least a foot from where I started the fouette, which was really frustrating. After weeks of practice, I finally got it and was ecstatic. Even though it wasn't perfect, there was no better feeling than being able to run to my mother and share my success with her. To me, dance is about being able to learn new things, have fun with friends, and express myself through dance. It is very important to me in that if I ever had a bad day, it would always end on a good note because of dance. I would go to my class, forget about everything else, and focus solely on my dancing.
By the end of eighth grade, I decided that I should try something new since I was about to start high school. Since my high school didn't have a dance team, I decided that after eleven years of dance, I would try out for my high school cheer squad. Tryouts came around, and it was time to showcase my talent. I wasn't as nervous as I expected to be, but I guess that came from years of performing. I was confident in my tryouts, and I knew that I had done my best. That year, I made junior varsity and now I'm currently on the varsity squad. It's hard to think of what life would've been like if I never danced because I learned so many life lessons that have shaped who I am. At times, life can be difficult, but because of my self-discipline or confidence, I'm able to accomplish the task at hand. I just tell myself to never underestimate myself in any way. I am proud to be a dancer because of what I've learned, what I've accomplished, and what I've become.
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