Supplement DEAR ROOMMATE

PLEASE EDIT! THANK YOU!

PROMPT: Write to your future roommate and include anything that allows him and us to knwo you better.

I am really excited to meet you; after all you will play a big role during my university years. I love getting to know new people and appreciate different cultures. I believe a good friendship relies on honesty and openness. I hope you bring a lot of culture with you and show me your way of life.

I like being active and being out; our world offers innumerous fantastic adventures which are silently waiting to be discovered.

Sports like tennis are one way of being active for me. I love the fascinating interaction between muscle power and mental strength. A small yellow ball rushes over the court, trying to hoodwink me, but in fact it is my ally and the ball tells me what to do next.

But I also believe that a break in between is absolutely essential. I am a family woman and that is where I get most of my power from. I enjoy cozy Sunday afternoons within the family circle, cooking together and having fun. You have to know, that my relatives by blood are only my mother and my elder sister, so the term "family" includes all closer friends for me.

John Miles states: "Music was my first love, and it will be my last" A big part in my life is about music too. I enjoy making music as much as listening to music. But do not be afraid, I will not sing under the shower. I love nearly all kind of music; it is strongly depending on my mood. I see music as something like therapy, it makes me feel good.

You have to know that I am always open for a debate, especially about political issues. I am delighted to learn from others and get to know their views and way of thinking and argumentation.

I am looking forward to meet you; there is so much to talk. I certain feel that our friendship will not only last during study, it will last forever!

Let's start our University experience!

I don't see much of your personality in here, I think you really have to make your essay more than a "common" essay, because this one could be written by anyone that do stuffs just like you. Your hobbies as well as the characteristics you want to express should be described or showed more vivid, something that only you have it, not any other students.

And you should separate your essays into a better outline, and transitions must be more coherent. Think about if you switch your second para and third para, some one will notice, ect.

Don't list, tell me what's special about yourself! You could also include how you will be at that university, they might want to see how much interest you're in this school, because this essay could be sent to any school. This I'm not so sure, because I have to write a Dear roommate essay too, and they ask me about my School =] So I suspect your school wants the same thing ^^

Keep up writing =P

ok, thank you. you're right.

can you help me to make my essay more personal? what should i wirte i.e. or what would you write?

sorry, i'm farely new to this and don't really know much about it...

I look forward to meeting you and sharing with you my enthusiasm about (all kinds of things at this school)!

That is the kind of sentiment you should express. This is an opportunity to talk about the school. Did you think of it that way? How about addressing your roommate but talking all about how excited you are to be getting involved in your chosen program, your chosen field.

Let this essay show the reader that you are passionate about the academics in your chosen program.