prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
When I saw the violin for the first time, my eyes stuck. The perfect volutes of the scroll led to the mysterious black of the fingerboard. The F holes among the grain of the plate and harmonious shape of the bridge brought out the elegance of the beautiful instrument. The silver strings shining under the light added some sharpness to the violin. I heedfully touched the violin and tentatively stroke a cord. The single note seemed to have a lasting while intoxicating power that seized my soul. From that moment, I knew I was doomed, forever in submission to this magical and elegant instrument. That's how our story began.
After years of industrious practicing, I took home with me a sheet of paper that was supposed to justify all the hardship with a merit award. At first, I was satisfied: suddenly all the complaints of noises from angry neighbors, the constantly sore arms and the calluses on my knuckles paid off. My parents were even more satisfied, stating that the award would mark the end of my endless practicing. I fell silent, with my violin in my hand, its elegance lingering around my fingers. All my pleasure of playing it started flashing back: it was the outlet hole of my emotions, the realization of my off-the-mark fantasies---it was the mirror of ME. How could I possibly stand the idea of leaving it to dust in the corner of nowhere? I made up my mind: my violin would stick with me for a lifetime.
I would play the violin by myself on a sunny afternoon. In a place nowhere to be disturbed, I let my soul intertwine with the notes and music of the score, inundating myself in the excellence of "Secret Garden". It was the time of revelation of a soul full of colors, colors which I saw no necessity of showing to the rest of the world. The private joy my violin and me had fostered was like a secret pact. Until one day, it was broken when I was catapulted into the spotlight.
At the art festival in 2009, it was my first time to stand on the stage. I could feel my heart pumping fanatically. But when the first note came out from my violin, I became calm. I closed my eyes, feeling the moving of my fingers. The anxiety died down, with only my music telling the story of the soul of a music lover. When I heard the thunder of applause, I could not forget the strong impression when I saw the appreciation in the eyes of the audience. The emotion of pride, surprise and ecstasy melted together and overfilled my heart. The communal trust that was built up by my music weighed much more than a paper of certificate.
Determined to continue this trust, I decided to join the orchestra. Again, I was on the stage, not by myself, but with the whole band. As the music filled the space, I heard the rain drops of the bell, the slender streams of the flutes, the long blue rivers of the violins, the white lightening of the trumpets... They combined together into the magnificent world-- Jupiter Symphony. We communicated with each other with our hearing, our music, and our spirit.
I love my violin, but not in a selfish way. I want to use my music to make others love its sound, love its shape, love everything that I love about it.
Can anyone give me some advice about how to improve this essay? Do you think if I should add something about how does this talent make me who I am? If so, how can I add it?
When I saw the violin for the first time, my eyes stuck. The perfect volutes of the scroll led to the mysterious black of the fingerboard. The F holes among the grain of the plate and harmonious shape of the bridge brought out the elegance of the beautiful instrument. The silver strings shining under the light added some sharpness to the violin. I heedfully touched the violin and tentatively stroke a cord. The single note seemed to have a lasting while intoxicating power that seized my soul. From that moment, I knew I was doomed, forever in submission to this magical and elegant instrument. That's how our story began.
After years of industrious practicing, I took home with me a sheet of paper that was supposed to justify all the hardship with a merit award. At first, I was satisfied: suddenly all the complaints of noises from angry neighbors, the constantly sore arms and the calluses on my knuckles paid off. My parents were even more satisfied, stating that the award would mark the end of my endless practicing. I fell silent, with my violin in my hand, its elegance lingering around my fingers. All my pleasure of playing it started flashing back: it was the outlet hole of my emotions, the realization of my off-the-mark fantasies---it was the mirror of ME. How could I possibly stand the idea of leaving it to dust in the corner of nowhere? I made up my mind: my violin would stick with me for a lifetime.
I would play the violin by myself on a sunny afternoon. In a place nowhere to be disturbed, I let my soul intertwine with the notes and music of the score, inundating myself in the excellence of "Secret Garden". It was the time of revelation of a soul full of colors, colors which I saw no necessity of showing to the rest of the world. The private joy my violin and me had fostered was like a secret pact. Until one day, it was broken when I was catapulted into the spotlight.
At the art festival in 2009, it was my first time to stand on the stage. I could feel my heart pumping fanatically. But when the first note came out from my violin, I became calm. I closed my eyes, feeling the moving of my fingers. The anxiety died down, with only my music telling the story of the soul of a music lover. When I heard the thunder of applause, I could not forget the strong impression when I saw the appreciation in the eyes of the audience. The emotion of pride, surprise and ecstasy melted together and overfilled my heart. The communal trust that was built up by my music weighed much more than a paper of certificate.
Determined to continue this trust, I decided to join the orchestra. Again, I was on the stage, not by myself, but with the whole band. As the music filled the space, I heard the rain drops of the bell, the slender streams of the flutes, the long blue rivers of the violins, the white lightening of the trumpets... They combined together into the magnificent world-- Jupiter Symphony. We communicated with each other with our hearing, our music, and our spirit.
I love my violin, but not in a selfish way. I want to use my music to make others love its sound, love its shape, love everything that I love about it.
Can anyone give me some advice about how to improve this essay? Do you think if I should add something about how does this talent make me who I am? If so, how can I add it?
