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"Describe your relationship with your siblings." - St. Edwards Essay



Lizzy9311 2 / 4  
Nov 19, 2010   #1
The Topic is:
In her book Original Kin, Marian Sandmaier has written that "A sibling may be the sole keeper of one's core identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self." Describe your relationship with your siblings. Do you think birth order has had a significant impact on who you are? If you are an only child, how has the lack of a sibling shaped your identity?

I Would really appreciate yall's time revising and editing my essay thanks.

"Elizabeth, ya me voy y regresare en unas horas, si no regreso antes de las nueve de la noche encargate de que tus hermanos esen dormidos antes de esa hora." My mother tells me to take care of my siblings while she leaves to church. I am the oldest in my family and have to take care of my four younger siblings at least three times a week.

When i was about ten years old I was automatically given the responsibility of taking care of my siblings. At first i hated being responsible for them because that was practically all i did. I could not go outside and ride my bike without one of my siblings having to cry or ask for something. Through the years i have learned how to take care of and guide for children.Other than learning the process and the rules to take care of my siblings i also took care of my younger cousins whenever i was available to do so. I have also learned that being the oldest takes a lot of effort and courage. I have to be a great example for my siblings, to show them what is right or what is wrong. Other than being just a sister , I have to be their second mother, that other person they can rely on. Now that i have more knowledge than i had before and know that it takes a lot of work and responsibility to be an older sister, I love it. I don't complain and would not do so because baby-sitting is what i like to do. I have always been a great help to my mother, "Gracias por ayudarme." "Thanks for helping" are the words i always hear from her as i have done nothing but do my role as the oldest.

My relationships with my siblings are more than just a sister. My sister and i have always been very close;she shares her secrets with me as i do with her. Whenever i want to go somewhere she always comes along, and whenever she wants something she asks me if i can go buy it for her. She says she wants to be like me and follow into my steps, accomplish her dreams as what i have been doing.

Between my younger brother and i there is a type of mother son relationship. Whenever my mother is not available i dress him, feed him and play with him. I have always taken care of him; if it is not my sister tagging along it is him. Whenever he has a question about his homework i sit there and explain to him what he has to do. He is the baby of the family which means he is spoiled and that is because of me. If my parents cannot get him what he wants he goes to me and gets it.

The role of a big sister has helped me through life by being a responsible person and a good helper, both of those skills will always be useful. Going to college will be a big step i will take towards success in my family, after i do so my siblings will follow in after me and will be encouraged to attend college. I will also be able to help them and comprehend what the process will be while applying to college. I have seen myself with those two qualities which i will keep using every time, as well as college.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 28, 2010   #2
...while when she leaves to attend church.

When I was about ten years old I was

Going to college will be a big step i will take towards success in my family; after i do so my siblings will follow in after me and will be feel encouraged to attend college.---Here, I added the action verb "feel." I think this is a great sentence! The reader will like the way you are thoughtful about how your influence will affect them.

You did a great job! I hope you capitalize the word "I" before you submit this!
It will be good if you show that you answered their prompt by using some of the key terms: impacted, birth order, etc. However, I think this is already a good essay...

:-)


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