Hi
This is my first draft of the UC prompt
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Plz give feedbacks and emphasize what needs to be fixed! thank you! :D
Although I was born in Korea, I have spent a significant portion of my life in Hong Kong. Life in Hong Kong has been a unique, cherishing experience that has exposed me to diverse cultures of the world. Ever since I started attending an international school at the age of nine, my perspective of the world changed dramatically. I was able to witness daily the effects of cultural globalization that has intertwined the cultures worldwide together. It was a fascinating experience that truly made me feel as an "international" student. At that time, I did not realize the influences these experiences and memories would have on one the most important decisions in my life.
I first began to dream of going to a university abroad when I first visited the University of Hong Kong in year eleven. My dad had reserved a university tour for our family to convince me to go HKU. When I first arrived at the campus, I immediately knew that HKU was not the right university for me. My dad thought I would like HKU because of its similarity to the culture I was familiar with throughout my life. I would have agreed with him had it not been for the international school experience I had received throughout my education. I greatly desired foreign cultures and diversity because of my desire to explore foreign cultures. I wanted a university that had truly had an international community bustling with life and diversity. University experience is once in a lifetime experience, and I wanted it to make it unique. My education has opened me up to different cultures of the world and greatly altered my perspective of the world. Hence, I opted to study at a university which would allow me to experience diversity and yet at the same time also explore a completely foreign culture.
Yet, my aspiration of becoming successful in my intended field of study did not culminate due to my academic interest or experiences. It was my dad who shaped my aspiration. While I was in middle school, my dad quit his respectable position at Samsung in order to allow me to continue my education. He was supposed to be transferred back to Korea for his new position in the main company. Yet, he knew that if I were to switch to Korean education at that crucial moment I would be unable to cope with it and hence ruin my education. My dad wanted me to succeed in life because he himself experienced the hardships of poverty when he was young. Hence, he sacrificed his job for my future. I knew how hard it was for him to resign; that was his first and only job for 22 years. It was his second home, but he sacrificed it for me. Ever since, I aspired to become successful in my field, because I do not want to make my dad's sacrifice worthless. I want to repay him back and make him proud, by showing him the results and the worth of his selfless act.
There are many factors that influence our dreams and aspirations. Yet, nothing can be as influential as one's personal experiences. As for me, my experiences so far have me realize my path in life and my dreams and desires. Although the path ahead of me may be turbulent, I will work persistently with effort to achieve my aspirations not only for my dad, but also for my personal success.
This is my first draft of the UC prompt
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Plz give feedbacks and emphasize what needs to be fixed! thank you! :D
Although I was born in Korea, I have spent a significant portion of my life in Hong Kong. Life in Hong Kong has been a unique, cherishing experience that has exposed me to diverse cultures of the world. Ever since I started attending an international school at the age of nine, my perspective of the world changed dramatically. I was able to witness daily the effects of cultural globalization that has intertwined the cultures worldwide together. It was a fascinating experience that truly made me feel as an "international" student. At that time, I did not realize the influences these experiences and memories would have on one the most important decisions in my life.
I first began to dream of going to a university abroad when I first visited the University of Hong Kong in year eleven. My dad had reserved a university tour for our family to convince me to go HKU. When I first arrived at the campus, I immediately knew that HKU was not the right university for me. My dad thought I would like HKU because of its similarity to the culture I was familiar with throughout my life. I would have agreed with him had it not been for the international school experience I had received throughout my education. I greatly desired foreign cultures and diversity because of my desire to explore foreign cultures. I wanted a university that had truly had an international community bustling with life and diversity. University experience is once in a lifetime experience, and I wanted it to make it unique. My education has opened me up to different cultures of the world and greatly altered my perspective of the world. Hence, I opted to study at a university which would allow me to experience diversity and yet at the same time also explore a completely foreign culture.
Yet, my aspiration of becoming successful in my intended field of study did not culminate due to my academic interest or experiences. It was my dad who shaped my aspiration. While I was in middle school, my dad quit his respectable position at Samsung in order to allow me to continue my education. He was supposed to be transferred back to Korea for his new position in the main company. Yet, he knew that if I were to switch to Korean education at that crucial moment I would be unable to cope with it and hence ruin my education. My dad wanted me to succeed in life because he himself experienced the hardships of poverty when he was young. Hence, he sacrificed his job for my future. I knew how hard it was for him to resign; that was his first and only job for 22 years. It was his second home, but he sacrificed it for me. Ever since, I aspired to become successful in my field, because I do not want to make my dad's sacrifice worthless. I want to repay him back and make him proud, by showing him the results and the worth of his selfless act.
There are many factors that influence our dreams and aspirations. Yet, nothing can be as influential as one's personal experiences. As for me, my experiences so far have me realize my path in life and my dreams and desires. Although the path ahead of me may be turbulent, I will work persistently with effort to achieve my aspirations not only for my dad, but also for my personal success.
