"I didn't deserve it" - GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT!

During my Junior year of high school I was presented with a question that asked what my greatest accomplishment was. At the time I found myself conflicted with how to approach such a question. I have always been the kid on the bleaches when it came to sports,so athletics were out. I am a pretty standard student, nothing incredible about my intelligence. Nor is my life comprised of medals and certificates for extraordinary feats. Today though, I answer that I am proud of surviving all the hardships I've experienced thus far.

My history teacher once told me, 'that it is the most tortured people that have the greatest minds". Perhaps this is why I find myself immersed in literature and art <(Go into this further, explain why you say this)>. Or it could be my way of escaping from my forlorn pain. Denial? A way of moving forward? There is always a speculation, a theory, or a guess to every question presented. What I wish though is that I will never know the answer to why my parents hate me. Why they refuse to ever look at me, or be involved in my life. I am 17 years old, legally I am not even considered an adult, but that doesn't matter. Family is suppose to be forever. <(You need a transition statement from your history teacher, to liking art to your parents hating you, it's all choppy and random).>

But they won't be there. They will look the other way, like they have done since I am came out. <(Define came out? are we talking birth here? If so say sine the day I was born)>They will continue to preach the bible to me, condemn me for my supposed sins, and continue to rant on about my being "ungodly." I guess it was easy for them to step away from me knowing my sister can take my place in all of life's milestone. Likewise their abuse continues to linger, stifling any reconciliation. But I have accepted my fate: Abandoned, abused, and alone.

Let me provide you with an answer to why I feel this is an accomplishment: I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve believing that I was an abomination, and that I was going to hell. I didn't deserve being ostracized and harassed. I didn't deserve to have my body and mind violated. And I didn't deserve to lose my parents. All those things happened to me and I am still here. I survived living with an extremely low self esteem. I survived living with depression. I survived so much pain with no one to cry to. I survived not having a home. I survived the paranoia that came with being unable to find food. I survived more than most people will ever experience in a lifetime.

As a result, I grew up to fast. I have learned to stand on my own two feet. To make something of myself. To no longer be affected by others' actions. To be confident and trust myself. I have learned that there are hard choices to be made, and I can make them. I have learned that the only validation I need is from myself. I have learned to love myself. I've realized that the scars that are left on me,will be forever a reminder of what I have endured and what I can overcome.