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I desire more diversity; Boston university sup: Why apply?



tahanw13 5 / 11  
Dec 28, 2012   #1
please critique my BU supplement as harshly as possible.

I grew up in a small, middle-class suburb in northern New Jersey. The locals here refer to my town as "The Bubble". Although I love my town, I have always desired a more diverse, culturally interesting community, and with Boston University I have found just that. BU's extremely varied student body, coupled with the intimacy of its classes and high quality of its professors, makes it the college I dream of attending. On top of all that, there is no place I would like to spend my post-high school years in more than Boston.

Despite growing up near New York City, I have always had an affinity for the city of Boston. Boston University represents its city more accurately than any other college in the area; the energy, the diversity, and intellectual nature of the city are all integral parts of the school as well. The large selection of schools that make up Boston University mirrors the city that it resides in; Boston is a city of many different neighborhoods, each with a unique personality.

The most appealing "neighborhood" of Boston University to me is the School of Management. The school's focus on digital technology and alternative energy makes it stand out among the other the business schools I have researched. In a world where technology advances on a seemingly day-to-day basis, Boston University's School of Management is a cut above the rest. Boston University's diversity, location, and high-tech School of Management have led me to apply without hesitation.

c0smic - / 10  
Dec 29, 2012   #2
Despite growing up near New York City,

I understand why this is here, but it shouldn't be haha. The sentence is fine without it.

I think this is really good! Best of luck to you!(:
imbue 6 / 24  
Dec 30, 2012   #3
I think you could make the first paragraph more concise and speak more about the things that you want to study there and why you should study them at BU.

Good job so far and good luck!
If you've got a moment it'd be lovely if you could review mine.


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