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Determined and driven person ; How you envision yourself 10 years from now?



kdviloria 1 / 1  
Jan 7, 2013   #1
Help!! i need to write a 3 page essay for my application for medical school.. right now, i have only written 2 pages.. i dont really have any idea what to write next. haha. any suggestions would be very helpful! also please feel free to correct any errors (grammatical/ vocabulary etc).. THANKS YOU GUYS!!!

I believe everyone should strive for excellence and follow their dreams. From a young age, I have always been an incredibly determined and driven person for everything that I set out to do. When I was growing up, my dream in life was to be become a lawyer due to the strong influence of my father. But that changed when I entered college. My college years and extracurricular activities have opened my eyes to the problems of our society. But despite all these problems, instead of wanting to flee the country, it made me love my country even more. In my mind, students should not only pursue academic excellence, but also show great concern for the society.

As a nutrition student, my course has helped me realize the value and importance of health. Unfortunately, due to some financial and not to mention geographical constraints, a lot of people in our country don't have the ability and means to acquire quality medical care. In addition, the world is constantly changing, and with the development of new technology to treat many more health complications and doctors running off to other countries to earn more money, the need for doctors in the Philippines is growing. Doctors are needed by every society regardless of wealth or diversity as patients depend and trust them to deliver accurate diagnosis and treatments.

During my stay in the university, I was constantly bombarded with the question "What do you want to do with the rest of your life? How do I envision myself in the future?" To many this might seem daunting, but ever since I realized that there will always be a universal necessity for help and service, my mind has been made up. I want to be a physician. I don't wish to be the wealthiest or highly graduated doctor the country has ever seen, but I want to be the one who will serve the people and the country in a true manner. Doctors are the ones that offer understanding when nobody else can, help alleviate pain when it is too painful to bear, and provide the light of comfort in gurgling fear. I believe there is no feeling more gratifying than knowing that I have impacted an individual's life in a positive manner. I have kept this goal as my focus throughout my college life, because it is a goal worth putting on a pedestal.

My passion for helping others and love for my country equally contribute to my dream of becoming a physician in the Philippines. I am fully aware that becoming a doctor involves dedication to my field of interest and many years of hard work, diligence and motivation. With mental strength and perseverance I have gained through my life experiences, I am fully equipped to conquer each and every obstacle standing in my way.

10 years from now, I see myself as a physician starting small, gaining some experience in hospitals around Metro Manila and in time, go back to my humble town of Narvacan, Ilocos Sur to practice my chosen field there. Narvacan is a very small town and have very limited access from quality health services. (I have to insert more sentences here.)

Right now, I do not have any definite plans on what specialization I might take up after medical school but no matter what my choice will be, I know for sure that I would share my knowledge and skills without being greedy for money as it is a form of giving back to the society.

moon05 13 / 132  
Jan 7, 2013   #2
become a lawyer due to the strong

beacause of

But despite all these problems, instead of wanting to flee the country, it made me love my country even more.

In my mind,

I think that/ something else

During my stay in the university,

During my university years

bombarded with the questions

do Iyou envision myyour self in

my mind has been made up.

you could just say " I have made up my mind"

Just tell more about the town! How does it not have all the equipments? What are the problems that people are facing right now? Have you seen something that has moved you? Remember any event that has helped you, even a bit, to take the decision to be a doctor? What do you hope to do in the town that might improve the circumstances drastically (if you wanna :D)

There's so many ways to make it lengthy!!!
OP kdviloria 1 / 1  
Jan 9, 2013   #3
hiiiI!!! thank you so much for you help. here is a copy of the edited and (almost) finished version.. please feel free to coment again.. also, im thinking of a title for this essay. any suggestions?

Everyone should strive for excellence and follow their dreams. From a young age, I have always been an incredibly determined and driven person for everything that I set out to do. When I was growing up, my goal was to become a lawyer because of the strong influence of my father. But that changed when I entered college.

I currently belong to 2 organizations and a sorority and these extracurricular activities have opened my eyes to the problems of our society. Being part of a sorority, wherein providing service was our goal, has helped me realize the need to serve the people. I remember when the sorority held an activity called Adopt-a-Community wherein we visited the small barangay of Putho in Los BaĂąos, Laguna. I saw the dreadful houses and could smell the rotting garbage in the streets. The people were so poor that they didn't even have any electricity and potable water. A program was conducted wherein games were held and food, clean water, old clothes and other goods were given. The people were so grateful as it can be seen in the smiles plastered on their faces. That simple act lifted up my spirits. I have never realized how deprived our country really was, until this time since I have lived at ease for the majority of my life. It saddens me to see how people don't give much attention to the poor and the needy. In fact, the entire country is based on the "the rich get richer" theory. Despite all these problems, instead of wanting to flee to a developed country, it made me love the country even more. Students should not only pursue academic excellence, but also show great concern for the society.

As a nutrition student, my course has helped me realize the value and importance of living a healthy lifestyle. Unfortunately, due to financial and, not to mention, geographical constraints, many people in our country do not have the ability and means to stay healthy and nourished as they cannot acquire quality medical and health care. In addition, the world is constantly changing, and with the development of new technology to treat many more health complications and doctors running off to other countries to earn more money, the need for doctors in the Philippines is growing. Doctors are needed by every society regardless of wealth or diversity as patients depend and trust them to deliver accurate diagnosis and treatments.

During my college years, I was constantly bombarded with the questions "What do you want to do with the rest of your life? How do you envision yourself in the future?". To many, this might seem daunting, but ever since I realized that there will always be a universal necessity for help and service, I made up my mind - I want to be a physician. My passion for helping others and love for my country equally contribute to my dream of becoming a physician in the Philippines. I am aware that becoming a doctor involves dedication to my field of interest and many years of hard work, diligence and motivation. With the mental strength and the perseverance I have gained through my life experiences, I am fully equipped to conquer each and every obstacle standing in my way.

I do not wish to be the wealthiest or the most highly decorated doctor the country has ever seen, but I want to be the one who will serve the people and the country in a true and selfless manner. Doctors are the ones that offer understanding when nobody else can, help alleviate pain when it is too painful to bear, and provide the light of comfort in the face of fear. I believe there is no feeling more gratifying than knowing that I have made a positive impact in an individual's life. I have kept this goal as my focus throughout my college life, because it is a goal worth putting on a pedestal.

Ten years from now, I see myself as a physician starting small, gaining some experience in hospitals around Metro Manila and, in time, go back to my humble town of Narvacan, Ilocos Sur to practice my chosen field there. Narvacan is a very small town and is 9 hours away from Manila. Due to the distance, people have very limited access from quality medical services as doctors who don't leave the country tend to stay in cities, where they treat patients who can pay.

In my own career as a physician, I strive to serve my patients not only as a healer, but also as a friend, supporting them in their toughest moments, and as a mentor, guiding them to live healthy lifestyles. The honor of being trusted to give advice. The gratitude for helping someone through a difficult illness. These things never grow old.

Right now, there are no definite plans on what specialization I might take up after medical school but no matter what the choice will be, I know for sure that I will share my knowledge and skills without being greedy for money as it is a form of giving back to the society.

Crucially, I know I have the enthusiasm, capacity for hard work and the open and enquiring mind needed to succeed in such a career. I understand that it would be difficult to accomplish all that I would like to do, but it all starts with small steps. Small steps can be taken to accomplish big things. Anyone can achieve their goals and can make a difference; it just takes the right attitudes and decisions. That is why I want to enter the Ateneo School of Medicine and Public Health, for I believe that the opportunities at this school will lead me to accomplishing my goal of becoming a physician one day. It would be a great privilege to be a part of ASMPH, and if I were accepted, I would not only foresee it as a great honor and privilege, but a tremendous blessing as well.


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