What I find most appealing about Columbia is its core curriculum. I can imagine myself poring over the works of Aeschylus in Literature Humanities, or pondering about Hobbes' Leviathan. And even though these courses are outside of my major, they will allow me to gain perspective into things that never occurred to me before. I would love to share my knowledge with others and open my eyes to different viewpoints. I imagine myself looking at the world in a different way after being a student at Columbia. This is what attracts me most about Columbia.
Nikita
I'm not too sure of the prompt and what is minimum word required of this essay, but i personally find it a bit too short.
You might want to consider discussing about the various aspects of Columbia that attracts you, e.g. landscape, geogrpahical locations, courses available in school and the school culture.
Yup, just my own thoughts on this essay. Hope it helps :)
i agree with kids_jessy,
are you applying to Columbia... University? Knowing that it is a highly selective Ivy League school, you want to impress them ...In fact you should aim to impress any college/university you are applying to, and that was not impressing.
i advise that you redraft your piece with the ideas that kids_jessy gave you or even creative ideas of your own...
Lissa ^_^
volleyball09,
Your essay was very short...and if you really want to get in an Ivy League school, you should definitely work on your writing skills. I advice you to rewrite your essay...and add some specific details to it.
Sofia
What I find most appealing about Columbia is its core curriculum. I can imagine myself poring over the works of Aeschylus in Literature Humanities, or pondering about Hobbes' Leviathan. Even though these courses are outside of my major, they will enable me to gain perspective about things that never occurred to me before. (Now add one more sentence about the core curriculum to conclude this paragraph)
2nd paragraph:
I would also love to share my knowledge with others and open my eyes to different viewpoints. For this reason, I am drawn to (something about the campus of program that is relevant)... I imagine myself looking at the world in a different way after being a student at Columbia. Conclude with something about sharing ideas and making a contribution...
Take out this unnecessary sentence: This is what attracts me most about Columbia. Change it to something that sums up what you have written here.
:)
Kevin
thank you so much!