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Diligent. Inspirational. Open minded - Three words to describe me



shirleytse 5 / 17  
Oct 24, 2009   #1
Diligent. Inspirational. Open minded. Look up these words in the dictionary and my picture would be next to each of them.
My motto has always been, "finish what you started". Because of my resolve, anyone and everyone can count on me to contribute a significant part in anything we do. No matter how hard a task may be, I am determined to see it through. My competitive nature allows me to embrace my work as a daily challenge. In a way, finishing my work is like beating a challenge and when is winning ever not fun?

The only thing more fulfilling than beating a challenge is how I beat it. This is when my creativity comes into play. Being presented with a new challenge brings me great excitement. Not only does it challenge my intellectuality, it challenges my inventiveness. Thinking of the numerous ways to approach a project is simply exhilarating. With my originality I know that I would be able to inspire others. When I look at a finished project, I can always say that no matter how small a contribution I made, it was a significant factor of the finishing product.

To be creative, I must consider all possibilities. This has led me to become very open-minded. Being narrow-minded can sometimes block the flow of creativity. Because of my flexibility I may be more open to approaching concepts others would shy away from. No matter how crazy an idea may seem, as long its beneficial I will see to it that it gets put to good use.

College is different from elementary, middle, and high school. College is a school where students learn through interaction and sharing ideas with each other. Students from all over the country and all over the world gather in one place, creating an extremely diverse community. The best way to learn is not by listening to professor in a classroom, but by talking with your diverse classmates. I am confident in that while learning from my classmates, my classmates will also learn from me.

mmmargarita 10 / 68  
Oct 25, 2009   #2
How are you inspirational? How do you inspire people? I didn't see any examples or explanation of this in your essay.

For the first paragraph, give some specific examples of your diligence. Anyone can claim they are diligent, but its the proof that counts. Same goes for the second paragraph, and the third paragraph. You make a lot of statements but don't back them up.

Also, I don't see how the last paragraph relates to the prompt, which I assume is "pick three words to desribe yourself." You could do away with it and have more room to elaborate on the above.
dark horse 4 / 7  
Oct 25, 2009   #3
i think your writing has got lots of arrogance .

Diligent. Inspirational. Open minded. Look up these words in the dictionary and my picture would be next to each of them.

I think this statement is too straight forward. You could tell them by giving examples as mmmargarita has suggested . You have to work a lot in this piece.
OP shirleytse 5 / 17  
Oct 25, 2009   #4
the short answer asked to describe yourself in 3 words and how you could contribute to the college with these traits. The last paragraph was to basically tie it all together.
ebby2010 10 / 51  
Oct 25, 2009   #5
I agree with mmmargarita that you need to add examples. also, you didn't really say how you would contribute to the college with those traits. expand more on that.


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