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Diligent is the one word that describes me; PENN STATE / Personal statement


pqahpikachu 3 / 6 1  
Dec 29, 2012   #1
please help me with my personal statement . i seriously need help fast! o.0"

penn state : Please tell us something about yourself, your experiences, or activities that you believe would reflect positively on your ability to succeed at Penn State. This is your opportunity to tell us something about yourself that is not already reflected in your application or academic records. We suggest a limit of 500 words or fewer.

me: If there is one word that I could use to describe myself, it would be diligent. Not like my other friends, I do not really have a natural talent in numbers. In fact, Mathematics was the subject that my teachers would always frown upon when they looked at my report books. Back in elementary school, I was the worst in my class when it comes to multiplication tables. I could only remember up to level 2 when all my classmates have already memorized 12 multiplication tables. I was so embarrassed when my teacher scolded me in front of the entire class, saying that I do not have any chance for a good future with my bad grades. Being a girl, hearing those words from a teacher had really cut a deep wound in my heart that I ended up wanting to prove her wrong. From then on, I worked real hard and did a lot of exercises to improve my grades. I scrapped my shyness away and asked for help from my classmates who were great in Mathematics. If I did not understand what my teacher was teaching in class, I would quickly turn to my friends and ask them to do the explanation instead. I was really grateful for having such helpful friends. Some nights, I did not even sleep just so I could get more time to do plenty of mathematics exercises. Finally, I succeeded in improving my grades and got transferred to a better class. I was so delighted that time because not only I get to prove myself to my teacher but I was also spared from spending another year with her. Although I did not really like her way of teaching, I know that she was the one I should actually be saying thanks to. She made me realize how being a genius was not really the main factor to succeed; it was the amount of effort and perseverance you put in that will determine how successful you will be. It was thanks to her that I could proudly stand among the high achievers during my high school years. Up until now, her 'harsh words' still motivate me to keep on striving no matter how many times I would fail before achieving the success that I dream of.

This diligence to pursue what is desired without being afraid of any failures that might lie ahead is one of the many reasons why Penn State is the perfect university for me. Some students might be daunted by the intense competition present among the large number of students, but I take it as just another exhilarating challenge that I have to go through before achieving my dream. The endless number of clubs will also give me the opportunity to make new friends and explore their various personalities which adds more to the reason why Penn State is the definite choice for me to spend my next four years of learning and growing.

kevinmojica56 - / 6  
Dec 29, 2012   #2
good god, what is wrong with your tenses ? "I was the worst in my class when it comes to multiplication tables" ..."I could only remember up to level 2 when all my classmates have already memorized 12 multiplication tables"... "Although I did not really like her way of teaching, I know that she was the one I should actually be saying thanks to" ... you need to really fix them or Penn will think you made through high school messing around. I know my words are harsh, but you said yourself harsh words motivate you. A lot of essays on here are very descriptive , and that's what you need to be, descriptive, don't be so repetitive, have a varied vocab, you need to seem more passionate within the essay so Penn can still how diligent, and vehement you can truly be
mahmoudjendy 7 / 17  
Dec 29, 2012   #3
the essay depend on a strong concept ... i think it is great
OP pqahpikachu 3 / 6 1  
Dec 29, 2012   #4
thanks for the harsh words.. and yes, my grammar sucks
i really need to improve on that -_-"


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