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I discovered my love of politics; What led you to select your history : NYU



Wrestlingnba 3 / 4  
Dec 24, 2009   #1
Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

Please help me make 500 characters

By studying United States History, I discovered my love of politics. My experiences in U.S. History gave me more than what any letter grade could offer. As the year progressed, I began to understand that the class wasn't about the letter grade, but rather about comprehending the struggles endured by the men and women, who sought to reform society for posterity. I remember learning about the women's rights movement and the civil rights movement and how each movement, respectively, brought positive changes to America. My thirst for politics couldn't be quenched within a classroom. I desired to gain some hands on experience in the realm of politics, so I applied for an internship with State Senator Alan Lowenthal last summer. Eventually a Senator's staff member interviewed me and awarded me the intern position. At first, I only filed papers and faxed messages to the senator, but later I partook in more significant tasks. I listened to people discuss their problems and was able to understand the processes used to address these issues. Many people who were concerned or confused about the healthcare proposal inundated our office with phone calls. I witnessed the senator's staff answer questions and advise local people on the provisions and consequences of the proposed healthcare plan, even though it is a national issue. Seeing Senator Lowenthal and his staff interact with the public highlighted to me the responsibilities that they have to their constituents. I, too, was able to counsel people about their problems, helping them to alleviate their troubles. The staff at the Senator's office entrusted me with writing a memo about the City of Lakewood. It was an indescribable feeling to see the senator use it as an address to his constituents. I understand that some problems won't always have clear solutions and that there will always be angry constituents, but I recognize the advancements that can be achieved. Thus I have decided to major in law and politics so I can further nurture my interest in politics and American Law. I seek to utilize the knowledge that I will obtain from my major to shape the future of tomorrow's society.

lowcal 12 / 27  
Dec 24, 2009   #2
good lead, its very effective. try added on to your essay what is the "interests you most about your intended discipline", you did not really emphasize on that.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 27, 2009   #3
It is not good to write all in one long paragraph. Try to write paragraphs that consist of about 100 words.

After this part, sought to reform society for posterity, add one more sentence -- your thesis statement that conveys the main idea of the essay -- and then end the first paragraph.

Start para #2 with

I remember learning about the women's rights

:-)


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