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Discuss some issue of; the infamous term "wikileaks" and Freedom



schoolboy 1 / -  
Dec 16, 2010   #1
Discuss some issue of personal, local national or international concern and its importance to you

"Keep Us Strong" screams the banner at the top of what has quite possibly become the single most controversial innovation if not in history then certainly in modern times. Quite simply, the world has not witnessed a phenomenon quite like this. Unless you have been living in complete isolation you have probably heard of the infamous term "wikileaks". When I first read about the magnitude of the controversy this little site had stirred, I was awestruck. It is not something you hear every day.I connected on so many different levels because like everyone else,I do hold strong beliefs and values.

Freedom, for instance.I view being shackled against your will whether mentally or physically as a violation of human rights. I believe that a person needs to be granted freedom of expression to truly be able to fulfill his inner creative potential and thus achieve his dreams.This belief stems from my observations and experiences of the world around me. How many children from Third World countries grow up to become truly successful? The answer is few. Questioning their intellect is not feasible, we are all born equal physically and mentally but the similarities stop there.This is perhaps best cemented by Warren Buffets famous quote on the "ovarian lottery". "Before you enter the world, you will pick one ball from a barrel of 6.8 billion (the number of people on the planet). That ball will determine your gender, race, nationality, natural abilities, and health - whether you are born rich or poor, sick or able-bodied, brilliant or below average, American or Zimbabwean."

Like all principles, I believe that I should not only uphold them but also act on them. My belief in freedom has led me to dedicate my work experience to conducting classes for orphaned and homeless children in the slums of India.I hoped that I could contribute in some way towards freeing them from their hardships and poverty-stricken life one day.

From a very young age, I have always been a keen reader of daily newspapers. I would pore over every little detail in the international news during my free time.Over time my interest in global issues has blossomed.When I was about 11, I started switching from newspapers to the Internet. it was a wonderful thing, I remember first using this tool which seemed, like all concepts I did not understand, to be magic. I could read anything of my heart's desire online. However, the Wikileaks news scandal has inevitably demonstrated the power of the Internet as a media tool, perhaps even outweighing that of major governments. I thought it was amazing how a small group of people could take on the giants of the world today. These were people who had a belief and chose to act on it. I related to that. However, as I read about this issue in detail, it occurred to me that this issue was not quite black and white. While introducing transparency can never be bad for the public, how about the odd cable leak which exposes an undercover journalist or a plan to rescue a prisoner of war. Is freedom of speech still applicable and politically correct then? I have learnt that it is important to gain a deeper understanding of an issue rather than simply take something at face value. It is something i have started to incorporate in my studies and progressively also into my daily life.When faced with a perplexing concept, I always ask for a second or even third opinion and then research online for suitable materials before taking on the problem again.It may seem tedious, but the rewards to be reaped, in my opinion, outweigh all that.

So is the freedom of information act all just one big bluff? I am sure we have all been told never to tell lies or to keep our promises but how about a white lie? I believe strongly in discipline. If I do wrong, I will own up and apologize no matter how embarrassing it may be. But perhaps there are exceptions? The man behind Wikileaks, Julien Assange has been arrested recently over his actions, likened to terrorism by some. For sure the expose has touched a lot of nerves. It has strained diplomatic ties all over the world, demonstrating how the power of mere words, if channeled in a certain way can really affect those around you.Like your average Joe, I have said the wrong things before but never with the intention to hurt. It takes discipline and discretion to think before you talk. While perhaps the blame cannot be fully placed on the diplomats for giving their candid views, they could have been a little more discreet in their assessments of other world leaders which at times bordered on being plain rude. These little things made me sit up and look at myself in a different light. I realize the importance of making the extra effort to be polite and thoughtful in my speech be it in daily life or publicly.

But who is right the man who pushed the boundaries of freedom of speech or the governments which claim to support democracy? Again it is not black and white, but if there is something i have gained from being a mere spectator of this saga it has been that perhaps discipline should have been exercised by Julien Assange to censor the information being made public.What about the right to privacy? The leaked cables were all stolen. Would someone of discipline have done this? I certainly do not support theft to obtain something you desire.I am a guarded person myself so this is something i look upon heavily.I would never invade someone's privacy and i would not appreciate the same being done to me.

For me, the importance of this particular world issue cannot be stressed enough. It has made me evaluate myself and my outlook on life.Although I have my views, I am not averse to listening to the other side of the argument.I believe that having good values is what defines and makes us who we are. As a prospective university student I believe i have the right attitude, passion and discipline to handle the rigors of university life. I know I have so much more to learn and this has made me hungry for the necessary knowledge to improve. Given the intellectual capacity available in the environment of your university I have no doubt that I can one day shape myself into someone ready for the working life ahead.

Ngozi93 3 / 30  
Dec 16, 2010   #2
Well for starters I think you shorten up the essay a bit more. Also ask less retheorical questions and try more to get your points across and describe in some way who are as a person. My advice to is to have each of your paragraphs be strongly written and write an essay that can draw your reader's attention makeing them want to read everything.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Dec 27, 2010   #3
wikileaks

Capitalize the proper noun.

I connected on so many different levels because like everyone else,I do hold strong beliefs and values.

This sentence does not have any meaning. Not everyone holds strong beliefs and values. You should express something meaningful here at the end of the first paragraph.

I view being shackled against your will whether mentally or physically as a violation of human rights. ---too obvious. What do you mean? "I believe" is almost always a weak way to start a sentence.

...whether you are born rich or poor, sick or able-bodied, brilliant or below average, American or Zimbabwean."-----this seems to have nothing to do with Wikileaks. Also, it seems offensive to make an analogy that compares American to able-bodied and brilliant while comparing Zimbabwean to sick and below average.

perhaps discipline should have been exercised by Julien Assange to censor the information being made public.---You have some more reading to do if you want to write about this topic. You did not spell his first name correctly, and you did not address the main points of argument offered by each side of this debate. For a different perspective, google this article: on the historical necessity of wikileaks
Reaper1Shi 7 / 24  
Dec 27, 2010   #4
Your essay flows well. However, there are some fragments and awkward sentences that you can take out to make it better.

Also, you need to make the essay more about you and how the topic connects to you. "My belief in freedom has led me to dedicate my work experience to conducting classes for orphaned and homeless children in the slums of India.I hoped that I could contribute in some way towards freeing them from their hardships and poverty-stricken life one day." Expand on that, perhaps.

If you have the time, please take a look at my essay! I'm using the same topic as you are!


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