When the word leadership is mentioned, I think about my family and how we adjusted ourselves after migrating from China to the United States. Ever since I was young, my older brother has always been the one who took on the responsibility of taking care of family issues, due to my parents' lack of English language.
My life changed drastically while entering my freshman year of high school, because that was also the year in which my older brother went off to college. Being the first person in our entire family to go to college was a huge deal. It made my parents very proud. My family owned a Chinese restaurant at the time. Before my brother's departure, he was usually the one who took care of most of our family's errands and responsibilities, such as translating for our parents, doing our taxes, reading our mail, and helping the family business. After my brother left, those responsibilities were handed down to me. It was very difficult at first because I never had so many responsibilities before. However, because of this experience, I have become a stronger person.
With this new role and vast amount of responsibilities, I had to step up and change for the good of my family. I also made sacrifices by giving up spending time with friends and other school activities. For example, on any given week, I would work at my parent's restaurant after school or after sport practice, including weekends. At the restaurant, I would take on several tasks including being a cashier and/or a waiter.
I would not have become the strong person that I am today without going through this experience. Due to this experience, it has influenced me to work hard and diligently in school. There is a saying that leadership comes with responsibilities, and from what I have been through, I have fully recognized the value of it.
You need to improve this sentence. "It was very difficult at first because I never had so many responsibilities before. However, because of this experience, I have become a stronger person."
It does not go very smoothly.
I think you had better mention how you become adapted to so many responsibilities, not just tell us the fact.
Your essay is impressive. Good luck!
Ever since I was young, my older brother has always been the one who took on the responsibility of taking care of family issues, due to my parents' lack of English language.
If I was you, I would clearly state what responsibilities you were in charge of. I think that it is important to expand on what you have done to the family and how that is leadership. Also, show how you have grown and gotten better as a leader (universities want to see growth.)
All in all, your essay pretty impressive, but can be improved.
Please edit my essay on leadership if you can :)
Before my brother's departure, he was the one who took care of most of our family's errands and responsibilities, such as translating for our parents, doing our taxes, reading our mail, and helping the family business (You didn't really have to use the word usually)
Like Gary said "most universities want to see growth" you have to expand on how the responsibilities have made you a stronger person.
Can you please edit my essay "GMSP unfair situation" or "GMSP step toward future ambitions" or "GMSP my passion for history"
thank you
