Hi, so I'm trying to write my Williams College supplement essay and I have no idea if it makes sense or works or anything so I thought I would post it online to see if anyone could help. It's super, super long so if someone could help me cut it down in addition to making sure I answered the question, I would be super appreciative. Thanks in advance!
Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.
Name: Jordan Carfino
Appointment Time: 10:30 AM
Doctor: Pearl Grimes
Reason: Light Treatment
Through the window I see the doctor finishing up with a patient. I see the research assistant, Callie, running around with papers in her hand. Thank God I see this scene differently than when I was younger. Before all I saw and felt were the negatives. This doctors office, this building, never failed to remind me of why I felt so self-conscious. With vitiligo, a skin disorder that takes the pigment from skin, I always felt like people were staring because, honestly, who could blame them? White spots on the hands, feet, elbows, and knees of a little girl with dark skin, kind of hard not to whisper and stare. I begged my parents to take me to Dr. Grimes, to pay for all the pills and procedures, because I just wanted to look normal. But as soon as I was there, all I could think of was why is their vitiligo less noticeable? Why can they cover it up more easily? Why do I have to deal with this? It's not fair. None of this is fair.
Though I still occasionally go to Dr. Grimes' office for a light treatment that may help with my vitiligo, I no longer focus on poor me. When I see the vitiligo patient through the window with less white areas than me, I don't make myself the victim because, though vitiligo made me self-conscious, it also forced to me to accept myself. Now when I see the doctor, she is no longer the person that holds my life in her hands. She is kind and helpful and will help me, but even if it doesn't work, my life won't be over. I might get a few more stares, feel a little uncomfortable with new people, but I can only become stronger because of it. When I see Callie, I don't focus on whether the research in her hand is a breakthrough. I see a friend I haven't seen in a while, that will tell me about her travels to China and India and ask about how my family is doing because she genuinely cares. The scene I see through the office windowpane is one I have been looking through for a majority of my life, but as I have grown and become more comfortable with myself it is no longer a scene that causes me to focus on all of the unfortunate things in my life, but how the doctor's office and the reasons for me being there have made me a better person. (434)
Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.
Name: Jordan Carfino
Appointment Time: 10:30 AM
Doctor: Pearl Grimes
Reason: Light Treatment
Through the window I see the doctor finishing up with a patient. I see the research assistant, Callie, running around with papers in her hand. Thank God I see this scene differently than when I was younger. Before all I saw and felt were the negatives. This doctors office, this building, never failed to remind me of why I felt so self-conscious. With vitiligo, a skin disorder that takes the pigment from skin, I always felt like people were staring because, honestly, who could blame them? White spots on the hands, feet, elbows, and knees of a little girl with dark skin, kind of hard not to whisper and stare. I begged my parents to take me to Dr. Grimes, to pay for all the pills and procedures, because I just wanted to look normal. But as soon as I was there, all I could think of was why is their vitiligo less noticeable? Why can they cover it up more easily? Why do I have to deal with this? It's not fair. None of this is fair.
Though I still occasionally go to Dr. Grimes' office for a light treatment that may help with my vitiligo, I no longer focus on poor me. When I see the vitiligo patient through the window with less white areas than me, I don't make myself the victim because, though vitiligo made me self-conscious, it also forced to me to accept myself. Now when I see the doctor, she is no longer the person that holds my life in her hands. She is kind and helpful and will help me, but even if it doesn't work, my life won't be over. I might get a few more stares, feel a little uncomfortable with new people, but I can only become stronger because of it. When I see Callie, I don't focus on whether the research in her hand is a breakthrough. I see a friend I haven't seen in a while, that will tell me about her travels to China and India and ask about how my family is doing because she genuinely cares. The scene I see through the office windowpane is one I have been looking through for a majority of my life, but as I have grown and become more comfortable with myself it is no longer a scene that causes me to focus on all of the unfortunate things in my life, but how the doctor's office and the reasons for me being there have made me a better person. (434)
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