Doctor's office that inspired me to take up medicine; NYU Supp/ Academic interests?

NYU's global network provides students with hundreds of academic areas of interest for students to cultivate their intellectual curiosity and to help achieve their career goals. Whether you are entirely undecided about your academic plans or you have a definitive program of study in mind, what are your own academic interests? Feel free to share any thoughts on any particular programs or how you might explore those interests at NYU on any of our campuses.

I see the doctor give the little girl a sticker after giving her an injection. It seems as if the girl forgot the severe pain she just went through. The doctor brought a smile on her face and made everything ok just in a matter of seconds. I picked medicine as the career that I want to pursue and fell in love with it ever since I started volunteering at the doctor's office. This experience brought out a keen interest in medicine that I never had before. Each and every aspect of this type of subject has caught my attention. From holding the child's hand to feeding him/her medicine; each of these things have built up different kinds of emotions inside me. At NYU's College of Art and Sciences, opportunities are provided to those who are interested in studying sciences; just like me. It will be one of the most comfortable places for me because I will be surrounded by those who have the same interests and share the same dream as me. I will get to know the story of others who picked the same path as me and determined medicine as their career. Each and every one of us has a story that inspired us to make a certain decision. Experience at the doctor's office and the love for sciences inspires me to pick medicine as my career and NYU's College of Arts and Sciences is the habitat where the fulfillment of my dreams will take place.

I honestly found the doctor-girl-sticker story very adorable, and makes me wanna proceed. Didn't really find any grammatical errors in your essay, I'm applying to NYU too, good luck!

Read mine?

btw, you might wanna spell "ok" formally.

dont sound so certain in your essay. you have not already been admitted. try adding phrases like if i am admitted at stances where you talk about your future at nyu. other than than, i think the essay is great and so is your motive.