"my dream of modeling" - college admission writting--special talents, interests

let me know if you think I should change or add anything. thank you!

We invite you to submit an optional personal statement if you feel that you have special talents, interests, or abilities not otherwise reflected on your application; and/or if you feel that your high school or college academic performance was adversely affected by special circumstances. Additionally, please take this opportunity to explain why you will be academically successful at Ohio State. Importantly, if your academic record includes interruptions in your education, please describe work experiences or other activities in which you may have participated while not enrolled in school.

I have many goals. Half of them I have already achieved and the other half, well that's where Ohio State comes in.

I took the year 2009 off from college to pursue my dream of modeling. I lived and worked in New York City, Chicago, and Milan, Italy. In my spare time, that year, I reviewed my calculus, chemistry, and biology notes. I accomplished my goals in modeling and wanted to go back to school so, I re-enrolled at the community college I attended initially.

My next goal is to get a bachelors and masters degree in biochemistry. I will be academically successful at Ohio State because I am very goal-oriented and passionate about the field I am going to be studying. Also, I already have work experience for my future career in biochemistry.

Ohio State is my ideal college to study biochemistry. The training I will get from the classes, The Biochemistry club and the College of Biological Sciences honorary student organization will help me to attain my degrees and prepare me for a promising career.

I have many goals. --- This intro is not particularly strong.

...and the other half -- well, that's where Ohio State comes in. ---- I added a dash to this, but really I don't like this intro. I'm sorry to be critical!! I just thin you should try a different idea, something that introduces the reader to what you are all about. What is your area of study? Choose your identity. :-)

I took the year 2009 off from ...
I don't think modeling is relevant to what you are writing. It's important to show that you have a real interest in biochemistry. You didn't even say why you are choosing this major. If you have a plan for what you want to do with the biochemistry major, describe it. I also hope you'll refer to some current research that has been done in the field so that the reader sees that you are following the story of 21st century biochemistry research.

I hope I didn't seem like a jerk about the intro! Just being honest. Try to come up with something that expresses your vision for success.

GEORGETOWN- SPECIAL TALENTS?

Hey,
so Georgetown gives space for some special talents. would anyone know what to put? can you be funny and creative with it? or make up impossible stuff?

thannnnks :D

like::
I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime.
I can whistle the C Major scale in my sleep.
I can watch the Big Bang Theory continuously for 24 hours.
I can wiggle my ears.
I can learn thirty dates in twelve minutes.

I think you can be creative about it and let the admission officer see your humorous side. But things like wiggle your ears aren't really special. You might wanna put something else.

Can you please help me with my Why Carleton essay? Thx

These are possibly slightly too humerous. Perhaps go with something that has the potential for a moral message or an intellectual slant?