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A dream ticket: I would get on a plane to Silicon Valley for a meeting with Elon Musk



ryan6ixgod 2 / 1  
Nov 30, 2016   #1
prompt = You've got a ticket in your hand - Where will you go? What will you do? What will happen when you get there?

Should I ever be blessed with a ticket that shall grant me access to any event imaginable, there is no doubt in my mind that I would use this to attend a music festival that would feature my 2 favorite artists: Drake and Travis Scott

To kick off this extravaganza, I would walk through the entrance and immediately find my way to the nearest food vendor and fill my stomach with all it could handle to ensure I would not need to make any trips during the concert. After stuffing myself like a turkey I would make my way to my front row center stage seat and patiently await the arrival of the 2 biggest role models in my life. Once they would arrive, I'd sit back and enjoy every song of this once in a lifetime experience and do so in lavish fashion. After the concert ends and I snap out of post-concert depression and I have finished clearing the shelves of the pop up shops selling merchandise, I would think to myself that it would bring me an immeasurable amount of pleasure and gratitude to meet these two artists in person even if it is just to say hello. Thankfully, my golden ticket would grant me the opportunity I have been dreaming of my whole life and It would allow me to sit down with them both. First and foremost, I would thank them for impacting my life in such a positive manor and for helping me blossom into the man I am today. After I shower them with my gratitude and respect, we would converse like the friends I always wished we would become, talking about sports, movies, music, life, and anything that made its way into our thoughts.

Finally, the time would come where we would have to go our separate ways. We would bid each other farewell and then I would depart, feeling sad because this day couldn't last my entire lifetime, content and grateful, knowing I now withheld a memory that would withstand the test of time, and fulfilled knowing I could repay the 2 people that have molded me into the person I am today.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Nov 30, 2016   #2
Ryan, please don't waste your opportunity in this essay on such a trivial response as meeting celebrities and spending time with them. If you wish to spend time with someone, try to make it a more relevant and impressive person such as Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, or someone considered a modern rock star on a more definitive and impressive scale. You have a ticket that can allow you chart the course of the future, or the future of the world. Wouldn't you wish to have the opportunity to make strides towards that direction?

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that your essay is not good. I am just trying to point out that the essay prompt is allowing you to present a serious discussion based on your more serious, possibly non-academic interests that would impress the reviewer. For example you could say something like:

I have always believed that the day would come when people would no longer need cars or airplanes to travel. If I had one ticket to go anywhere in the world, I would get on a plane to Silicon Valley for a meeting with Elon Musk where, I can detail my plans for this future to him and ask for his help in making the plan a reality.

That is how the start of a response to this kind of prompt would impress the reviewer and encourage him to read more of what you have to say.


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