Hello everyone! I need help in proofreading and editing my essay. I am applying to the Summer Internship Program at Johns Hopkins. I will take and I fully appreciate any advice you have to give me. Thank you so much!
Here's the prompt: Please describe your interest in the Summer Internship Program, including your science and research background, academic accomplishments and future science career plans and goals.
At age 5, I had a dream, a dream I have continued to keep alive to this day. I have dreamed of a career in medicine, of providing quality healthcare to those in need of it and playing a significant role in the advancement of medicine. I am drawn to the various areas of medicine and how they all intertwine in a practical sense. One has the possibility of venturing into various specialties and accomplishing various goals in the field of medicine. As a young girl, I was only interested in the clinical aspect of medicine and working with patients in a hospital or private practice. However, as I got older, I developed an interest in medical research as well. Research is the main driving force behind the growth and progress of medicine. Entering high school, I realized that if I wanted to play a role in advancing medicine, I needed to involve myself in research. The Summer Internship Program would allow me to gain and develop skills and knowledge in research and experimentation, hopefully perform research in areas of interest to me, such as pulmonary medicine, and learn more about these various subjects of research and how they can apply to health and medicine.
I have always had a love for learning and academics, so I have devoted myself to succeeding in school and acquiring as much knowledge as I can, particularly in the sciences. Seeing as how I always had this vision of medicine for myself, I attended a medical science and research magnet program in high school to better prepare myself for the future. Throughout my time in high school, I took numerous science classes, which solidified my love for biology and completed two internships in the local hospital and my pediatrician's office. I gained research experience through preparing my final research project in my senior year of the program. The objective of my research study was investigating the benefits of antioxidants to human health by determining whether pomegranate juice or dark chocolate, two antioxidant-rich products, is more beneficial to the human body through the growth of the probiotic bacteria Lactobacillus casei. My research involved me growing the probiotic bacteria with either dark chocolate or pomegranate juice added, measuring the sizes of the colonies and using ANOVA statistical testing to interpret the results. I'm completely grateful for my time in the magnet program, for the program introducing me to research and continuing to challenge me in my academic career. While it was challenging at times, through hard work and dedication to achieving my goals, I graduated with a 4.4 GPA and numerous academic honors.
As I entered college in the fall of 2012, I was excited to undertake the next step towards reaching my goal of becoming a physician. Along the way, I did face some challenges, with my father passing away after my first semester and the loss affecting my academics in a negative way. At times, I was unsure of myself and felt as if I did not have what it takes to achieve my dream career. The summer after my freshman year, I was able to regroup and focus on my goals, both by assessing what I needed to improve on and also gaining clinical experience by shadowing a physician specializing in pulmonary and critical care medicine. Returning to school for my sophomore year, I was fully dedicated towards my goals and improving my grades, something that I believe I achieved last semester. In the spring semester, I hope to continue with my improvement and hopefully gain more research experience by working as a research assistant in the Division of Pulmonary, Allergy, and Critical Care Medicine at the hospital associated with my university.
While participating in the Summer Internship Program, I can strengthen my research and experimentation skills and collaborate with renowned faculty members and other intelligent and inquisitive students from diverse backgrounds, expanding my knowledge and learning from different opinions and perspectives. Working in the Pulmonary and Critical Care Medicine program can greatly prepare me for pulmonary and critical care medicine, as I have a newfound interest in this particular field after my shadowing experience. I can engage in research involving asthma or sleep studies and also have the opportunity to experience the clinical aspect by shadowing medical residents. Working with Stanley Summer Scholars would introduce me to the world of psychiatric diseases and allow me to perform research with and gain knowledge on mental illness. The Summer Internship Program is an amazing, life-changing opportunity, providing me with the chance to immerse myself in science and research and successfully preparing me for a career in medicine and changing the world for the better.
At age 5, I had a dream, a dream I have continued to keep alive to this day. I have dreamed of a career in medicine,of providing quality healthcare to those in need of it and playing a significant role in the advancement of medicine.
.... I feel it is good to talk about one of the two (I mean, either "providing quality healthcare to those in need " or "playing a significant role in the advancement of medicine" as they both have close meanings. Also, I feel they are two advance for a five year old to dream about :( Anyways, this is just a suggestion of mine for that sentence;
From the age of five, I lived a dream; A dream of being seriously involved in the field of medicine in hope of enhancing the quality of healthcare for those who are in need.