I have always dreamed about studying something which is related with humans beings; applying letter

To Whom It May Concern,

From an early age, I have always dreamed about studying something which is related with humans beings and
the environment we are living in. I don't know why but I have always got a feeling in my inner about what was going on

around me, so when I got older I was quiet concern that I wanted to study International Relations. I see it as the right
way to develop myself as a person and what is more to get the right knowledge to be able to help this society we are

living in. I am a kind of person who believes in humans beings and that we all together can change things in a better way.

To tell you the truth I was looking for quiet a few universities in my country, Spain. All of them were quite good but when

I came across AUC I got the feeling that this one would suit everything I was looking for. Why?

First of all, studying in the AUC allows me to get better with my English and the same time it unable(allows me) to learn

arabic language and living a culture and a way of living different from my country. I think that learning a language is
learning a culture, and everything together will help me to get to know both, american and arabic society. In a few words
the AUC has something that the others lack of, and what is it? The AUC gets together two different cultures in the same place.

Another fact that helps me to chose the american university was the musical program. I am really fascinated by it.
I couldn't believe it because it will allow me to keep on playing my violin. I have been playing it since I was a child

and I wouldn't like to give it up. That was what makes my mind up, so here I am.

You may be wondering why I have came to Cairo to study. I have always been interested into arabic world, owing that my
father is Lebanese and I would like to understand their way of living and thinking and being here living with them I would
be able to get to know them much better. I am fairly sure that the AUC is the right place to help me to grow and provides me

a great knowledge, not only Arabian world but also western one.

Last but not least, the AUC is a fantastic university for many reasons. I will be able to give the best of myself and to

achieve my goals, living in Egypt, an amazing country and learning in the American way, which is known to be one of the
the best in the field of the International Relations. It would be an honor for me to be a part of such a great and

international renowned university.

try to have same structure
for helping me to grow and providing me great knowledge.

oh! Thank you very much tgholian. It is very helpful!
But do you think that the arguments are good?
Thank you again.

Abbys, what are the requirements for the letter? We can only judge whether you have presented good arguments once you have provided us with the parameters for your letter. Actually, I think this should not be a letter but an essay instead. It would really help us study your paper and answer your question if we knew what the expectations are for your letter.


- Do not pose questions without your letter. Everything that you state should be a matter of fact. In fact, your reason for wanting to apply to AUC should be contained in the first paragraph of your letter. While flowery words make this a creative paper, the admissions officer does not have the time to beat around the bush. Always go directly to the point and then embellish in the succeeding paragraphs. You need to make sure that you hook him or her into reading your letter to the very end.


- Explain how you plan to accomplish this. What programs does the university offer that you feel will help you achieve your goals?


- What exactly do you plan to major in and how does music relate to it?

- I will be a bit harsh here and say that the letter is simplistic in tone, does not establish an idea of your purpose for enrollment, and does not reflect any career goals for you. As an application letter, this is not only weak but ill effective. However, it shows room for improvement. You just have to work on it based upon the letter prompt provided.

Once we know what the prompt is, we can help you direct the letter towards fulfilling the letter's needs.

First of all thank you for your response, it is very helpful!
Well, they ask me to write an essay of what can AUC offer to me, and they don't give me more information.

Abbys, that totally changes the game for us then. Since we do not have a template to work with, we will have to feel our way through the letter. So here is what I suggest, take note of the suggestions, questions, and recommendations I made in an earlier post in this thread and apply it to your essay as revisions. Once you have done that, you can come back here to post the revision so we can review it for content and grammar. We will do our best to help you bring down the word count to an acceptable level. More importantly, we will help you try to second guess the information that may be considered necessary in your essay. After that, we are in for another revision.

Be prepared to write at least 3 versions of this letter because we will be refining it with every version. Don't get impatient or feel hopeless because we will be winging your essay most of the way. Our main goal will be to write a letter that will best represent you to the admissions officer of the school for his or her consideration. How we do that, will be a team effort :-) So get ready, we have a long way to go :-)

Well, I have tried to do it better. :)

From an early age, I have dreamed about studying something related with human beings and the environment we are living in. I don't know why but I have always got a feeling in my inner about what was going on around me, so when I got older I was quiet concern that I wanted to study International Relations. Then I focused my search on foreign universities, as languages are an important key in the international field. Also, I was looking for an education quality, cultural diversity, location and fortunately I find all of this in the American University in Cairo. I see the AUC as the right way to develop myself as a person and what is more to get the right knowledge to be able to help this society we are living in.

AUC gives me the chance to improve my English and at the same time it unable me to learn arabic language and experience a culture and a way of living different from my country. I think that learning a language is learning a culture, and everything together will help me to get to know both, american and arabic society, and all of this In a few words the AUC has something that the others lack of, and what is it? The AUC gets together two different cultures in the same place.

I have always been interested into arabic world, owing that my father is Lebanese and I would like to understand their way of living and thinking and being here living with them I would be able to get to know them much better. I am fairly sure that the AUC is the right place for helping me to grow and providing me a great knowledge, not only arabian world but also western one. As far as I know, the AUC offers you special opportunities that allow students to participate in extracurricular activities and student-run conferences.

Another fact that helps me to chose the AUC was its musical program. I am really fascinated by it. I couldn't believe it because it will allow me to keep on playing my violin. I have been playing it since I was a child and I wouldn't like to give it up as I consider it a very important part of my life I believe that it can help me in a near future to develop some skills.

In conclusion, I think that is the ability to choose well what makes us special and determines our future and I am sure that AUC would be the best option for being such a great international renowned university, with an outstanding education system. In the AUC I will be able to be the best of myself and to achieve my goals, living in Egypt, an amazing country and learning in the American way, which is known to be one of the best in the area of the International Relations. It would be a honour for me to be a part of this great university.

Abbys, we need to work on some more aspects of the essay that remain unclear. Note my comments and suggestions below:


- The idea behind this paragraph is confusing and unclear. You are talking about studying international relations, therefore, you should present the basis for the way you developed an inclination towards that field of study. That means you need to present more specific details about what it was about human relationships that brought you believe that there is a need to study international relations in order to understand human relationships.


- Abbys, if you are studying international relations, concentrating on the Arabic and English cultures is not a good idea to present in your letter. Instead, you should be talking about how you wish to enroll in the course because you want to gain a deeper understanding of the world cultures and how the symbiotic relationship between nations helps to foster peace and understanding in the world.


- You should delete this paragraph as well for the same reasons I mentioned above.


- I don't understand, are you planning to have a double major in college? How does the music program fit into your international studies curriculum? You need to show a connection between the two or just concentrate on developing the international studies idea.


- Your conclusion does not provide the admissions officer with an idea of your future plans and how AUC fits into those goals. You should revise your closing statement to reflect that.

I hope this one is better :)

It was said a few years ago that if the human race is wiped out in the next 50 years it will not be because of disease or an asteroid hitting the earth, but because of foreign policy and international relations. In a world where thousand of people die each day from poverty and where thousand of weapons exist and more countries are trying to acquire them, I feel the need to know and understand how the internationals relations works, and once I achieved it, I would help to improve them. After deciding that what I wanted to study was International Relations, I focused my search on foreign universities, as languages are an important key in the international field. When I came across AUC, I realized that was all I was looking for: a education quality, cultural diversity, location and the opportunity to be heard and understood.

AUC gives me the chance to improve my English under the direction of renowned professionals and adopted an international perspective. AUC also unable me to learn arabic language and experience a culture and a way of living different from my country, what I am sure that will allow me to grow in both ways, professional and personal. As I believe, having the widest possible knowledge about different cultures allows you to understand diverse points of view, an important factor to cultivate peace. Also it encourages the exchange of ideas which will be very useful in the future. I few words, AUC promotes the cultural exchange uniting in one place the West, the East, and students from all over the world, and that it is what makes AUC unique.

Another fact that helps me to chose the AUC was its musical program. Not every universities have one, and it really fascinated me. I have been playing the violin since I was a child and I wouldn't like to give it up. I consider music as a universal language, which has the capacity to express mans' deepest emotion. Music through its ability to transcend boundaries can thus create relationships between people from different backgrounds and opposing beliefs, what is one of the International Relations main idea.

In conclusion,my choice was not base on superficial reasons, but on real important ones. I expressed my main reasons, even though I have no enough words to describe my enthusiasm to study at the AUC. An outstanding education, a fascinating culture variety and a productive and creative atmosphere which allows me to achieve my goals and be prepared to jump to the International Relations field.

Abbys, please allow me to show you how this letter of application should be done. Use it as a template for your next revision.

Dear Admissions Officer,

The world we live in is full of anger and strife. It is a world where people are separated by race, religion, and ideologies. Yet somehow, all the nations need to get over these divisive factors in order to unite for the good of mankind. The need for international relations is an immediate necessity in our world in order to bring a balance of peace, unity, and cooperation into our world. That is how I see our world today and that is why I am interested in pursuing a degree in International relations.

The reason that I am applying to an overseas university instead of a local one is quite simple. Being an international relations student, I must practice what I preach. I must immerse myself in a world where I will be able to put my lessons into practice. I cannot do that by staying in my comfort zone. I need to step out, into the true international world known as college, in order to gain the ultimate understanding of how foreign relations can work for the betterment of mankind. After a thorough and exhaustive search, I came to realize that AUC is the university that answers all of the requirements I am looking for in a university. I have the utmost confidence that AUC will be the university that can teach me all I need to know about international relations.

AUC offers me the opportunity to learn about international relations by allowing me to develop my communication skills by perfecting my English, which is the international language of business and also, gives me an international perspective of the world because of the diverse nationalities of students enrolled and professors working at the university. This is, in my mind, the perfect place to practice cultivating peace among a melting pot of students. I will also be provided the rare opportunity of continuing to practice my music under the AUC musical program. As a violinist, I believe that music is one of the equalizing factors in international relations. Music brings peace and calm to a troubled soul and helps soothe the wounds of an ailing nation. Therefore, my education in International Relations is sure to be well rounded by the AUC curriculum.

These are the reasons why I am presenting myself as an applicant for the International Relations Program at AUC. I hope that I may be seriously considered for a spot in your student community during the upcoming term.

Abbys, you have the option to use this letter in full if you wish to or write your own version using this as a template. The choice is yours :-)

I loved your letter!! It is just perfect! You are a great writer and also a great teacher. Believe it or not, I have learn a lot about writing with you. I think that I am going to use this one, because I don't have time, but I am going to keep trying, just to improve and to be better at writing. I promise I will send you the letter when I achieve it. Thank you very much for all and thank you very much Essayforum for being there.