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"Dreaming is easy but achieving them is not!" - Personal Statement For AMA+ Scholarship



Aerin 1 / 1  
May 16, 2022   #1
*Please type within two pages using black ink in Korean or in English*
- Your course of life, your view of life, study background, your hopes and wishes, etc.
- Your education and work experience, etc., in relation to the AMA program
- Your motivation for applying for this program
- Reason for study in Korea and K'Arts.

"Dreaming is easy but achieving them is not!"


My father once said this to me, back then I could not understand what he meant but as I grew up, I understood what he meant. Dreaming about the future is what every individual does at a certain point of time, some fails while others achieve their goal of life and this all comes after working hard persistently. Being born in a country like India, certain limitations and rules binds us under boundaries, especially for women. Even after these restrictions, there were circumstances since childhood that prejudiced being less competent in the eye of the society. Because of some health issues, people around me started sympathizing me, even teachers would not let me participate in extracurricular activities so I had to fight my way to shine bright in each of these activities. While heeding my way up to my goals, I became confident and determined for being a professional dancer. I as a student was not good enough with my academics but I worked hard in studying to pass the secondary senior school as my teacher being very studious encouraged me saying I could do anything if I want and I should not let others think low of me. While working hard to achieve my goals, I believed that I shall not leave the fun behind, so I participated in many school events and competitions as I was passionate and determined towards dance since childhood.

Looking at the sacrifice my sisters made in their lives settling for less and sacrificing endeavored me towards my dreams as I had a strong potential of choosing my own path in life rather to settle for the same occupations. Living in a society, where people still prefer education over talent puts me in a situation where I have to choose between my dream and an easy life. But the immense desire of my heart to dance every emotion motivates me to search for opportunities where I can fulfill my dream and make my parents proud. I look forward to being an example to many children like me who are afraid of society's opinion. When I found out about this astonishing scholarship, it felt like there is a way for me to achieve my goal.

As a citizen of a country like India, which is enriched with many different cultures, religions, and traditions, I have always been very interested in learning about different cultures. Learning and experiencing Korea's rich culture would be a great honor for me. As I learned about the struggles of South Korea to gain Independence in my senior secondary school, I became more curious and interested in Korea. It amazes me how Korea is growing day by day, developing but still shines its culture perfectly in front of the world. Kpop and Kdramas becoming more famous and stealing everyone's heart. When I came to know about the astounding history that we Indians and Koreans share, I felt so proud after getting to know how strong bond we share with each other and I am really grateful towards Korea to provide us opportunities like this to study in their prestigious Universities like Korea National University of Arts. In my perspective, there is no doubt that safety and education is an outstanding features of Korea. Safety is the first thing we all want whether we are in our country or in a foreign land, and Korea is the country where we don't need to worry about these things. High quality education is all, we all want for our bright career and Korea is a home of many prodigious Universities, ranked among the Top Universities in the World.

I wish to be a little connection between Korea and India and help those children who either are struggling to choose between their dream and an easy job or are not able to afford dance as their profession. I want to let them know that giving up on their dream is not a solution we need to face our problems as I did, and we can pursue our dream through this incredible fellowship, we just need to be hardworking and passionate. I decided to apply for this scholarship in the hope to make people understand that dance for people like me is not just a hobby or talent but an emotion that gives us hope and happiness. It is a way for us to express our emotions without saying them aloud. I strongly believe that University like Korean National University of Arts will change my life and make it better for good. It will be my pleasure to be a part of Korean National University of Arts, which has ranked 36th in QS World University at performing arts. With the help of the best Professors, Facilities, and Support, I believe I will be able to find my own dancing style and will become a professional dancer and motivates others like Ms. Seung Hee Choi, Ms. Lia Kim and Mr. Kasper motivates me. Not having a valid TOPIK level might be an obstacle but I will try everything within my power to not let this obstacle hover over my goals and dreams, I am sure I can do this, and I will prove it by learning Korean within four months before starting of the Semester. I think learning Korean in Korea will enhance my social skills and it is much better because I will be able to practice with others as well. I will make sure to not lack in anything in comparison to others.

Thank you for your consideration.

This is my First Time applying for any scholarship, So please help me to Fix my Personal Statement.
All the criticism and advice are very welcome.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15460  
May 17, 2022   #2
The first problem that this essay has is the incorrect vocabulary throughout the presentation. The writer is using words that carry a meaning opposite to what it is that he actually is trying to say or explain. As such, the paragraphs become confusing to read. The presentation, at the start, lacks logic and coherence for the most part. The writer should be more selective of his word usage and should make sure to consult a dictionary before using certain descriptive words, to ensure that the correct meaning will be inferred by the sentence or paragraph.

The essay focuses too much on the first part of the prompt instructions. It delivers in terms of personal reasoning, but neglects to accurately explain how the applicant is motivated to apply for the AMA program specifically. The reference to KPop and KDrama will not be considered anymore since those are the most often used reasons for applying to Korean programs. It does not carry any impact at all. The writer speaks of commonalities between India and Korea, but fails to qualify these through examples. So there is a failure to connect the motivation the reason for studying in Korea and K'Arts.

The applicant should also strive to better represent his academic and professional qualifications that could make him/her a stronger contender for the scholarship. That was not really fully addressed (if at all) within the essay.
OP Aerin 1 / 1  
May 17, 2022   #3
For

Hello! thanks for giving me feedbacks and helping me out. This opportunity is very Important to me and I want to get this Anyhow. I understood What you told me to fix.

Thank you so much!


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