UC Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Please check for 1) Did I answer the prompt? Was my "drink" confusing you? 2) please check for grammar. 3) possible suggestions! Thank you!
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I drank an unfamiliar drink; one that requires great effort because of the beany smell. The tall white cup containing it represents my culture, my background. Getting past this tall cup is a struggle, for overcoming differences can never be simple. This drink I hold in my hands looks like expired milk dipped in cheese yet people around me are savoring this unfamiliar drink. I decided to take a sip which after, I had set foot on a journey between two worlds, which I am still on today.
The coarse aftertaste running into my throat as if the beans were not processed fully, reminds me of the difficulties when I first came to this new world, far from my home in San Ramon, California. I remembered my stories of language barriers, contradicting truths and different perspectives. But as the steamy drink spread through my body, making me warm and safe in this dead cold winter, I remembered the lessons and experiences I would not have a chance to learn elsewhere. My classmates from all over the world-Ireland, Brazil, Australia, Indonesia, and Taiwan have taught me to accept and to respect. I am honored to have met these intelligent and people with various characteristics, enjoying memories of challenges overcome, ideas unleashed and the fantastic times together.
The two worlds I am living in are what made me peruse majors involving communication and international affairs. I want to be in a world where I can learn from different people who grew up in different cultures and backgrounds where right in this culture may be wrong in the next. Where I can see ideas bouncing off the wall and conflicting with each other. Where I can feel alive.
Through this drink, soymilk as some may call it, I have tasted that my future is filled with hope and difficulties and has also taught me to strive valiantly. Soymilk, my two worlds, has taught me to be bold, courageous, passionate and humble. I have learned about my two worlds, which I have also found myself.
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Also, I don't like my last paragraph. Any possible suggestions?
Thanks in advance!
Your essay is pretty good and your idea is creative.
I think you should look at this sentence:
"I decided to take a sip which after, I had set foot on a journey between two worlds, which I am still on today."
It doesn't really make sense and I wasn't sure what you were trying to convey.
I couldn't find any other problems with the essay other than that sentence.
Can you edit mine? It's called "
my first-ever vacation."
I found some improvements to make in the segment below:
This drink I that hold in my hands looks like expired milk dipped in cheese, yet the people around me are savoring it . I decided to take a sip, and in doing so I set foot on a journey between two worlds, which I am still on today.
The coarse aftertaste running into my throat as if the beans were not processed fully, reminds me of the difficulties when I first came to this new world, far from my home in San Ramon, California.
Good luck!
Kevin
