It has been hard thinking of something to write about so I wrote about an accident I was in because of drinking and driving. Should I keep away from this topic or do you think the admissions officers would admire my honesty?
Drinking and Driving @ a B'day party ; COMMON APP
I think that as long as you talked about how you have changed and what you have learned from that experience I think it might be good.
Greetings!
I agree that it's really all in how you write it. You want to show maturity, ability to take responsibility, and that you have not only learned a valuable lesson, but that your life has changed for the better because of it. If you can do that, you should be fine.
Best of luck in your studies!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
I agree that it's really all in how you write it. You want to show maturity, ability to take responsibility, and that you have not only learned a valuable lesson, but that your life has changed for the better because of it. If you can do that, you should be fine.
Best of luck in your studies!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
Let me know what you think. I feel like in I might be putting to much emphasis on the story,
Choosing my major was not an easy task until June 30th, 2007. I was contemplating the choosing business as my major even though my heart was not in it. However this all changed when I was involved in an accident which should have killed me. I regretfully admit that I was drinking and under no circumstances should I have been driving. But the experience has made me a better person and would not change it.
I was at a friend's house and celebrating a birthday and I had a few drinks. But a few hours into the night I made the dumbest decision of my life. Without telling anyone I got in my new Acura Integra and left for burger king. On my way back I was driving recklessly and took a corner at a high speed. My back end kicked out and I had lost all control of the car. As I was slid towards the trees directly in front of me, my fate uncertain, I closed my eyes and truly believed that I was finished.
When I gathered my senses all I could smell was the powder from the air bags. My arms were badly burnt from the air bags and I noticed my windshield was cracked. At that moment I came to realize the mess I had gotten my self into. I attempted to open my door, only to find that it was crushed in by a tree. So I climbed over my shifter and exited through the passenger door. By the time I had stumbled out of the car and emerged from the brush a police officer had already arrived on the scene and was radioing for back up. Although it was a warm summer night I was cold with fear of what could happen next.
The officer first on the scene asked if I needed an ambulance, but I insisted I was fine in hopes of leaving before they could realize I had been drinking. Within five minutes three more cruisers had arrived and were accessing the damage. They appeared suspicious from the moment they arrived and I also noticed them discretely searching my car for anything which didn't belong. But there was nothing there to be found and they began asking me questions. This eventually led to a field side sobriety test. I did not do as well as I thought because the next thing I knew I was being asked to take a Breathalyzer test which I reluctantly took. When my dad arrived he looked at my totaled car and then at me with pure disappointment. The car ride home was silent and the coming days were even tougher as I tried to put the ordeal behind me.
The one thing everyone agreed on about that night was that I was very lucky. Not only to be living, but also because I was not arrested. I believe that the reason why I was not arrested on that night was because the police officer saw something in me. He could see that I was not a trouble maker as I had no other history with the law, and I have never even had a detention in my life. His kindness to me left me with a new respect for law enforcement. He could easily have ruined my life by arresting me but instead gave me a second chance. This has inspired me to spend my life helping others through the field of criminal justice. Not a day has passed where I do not think about what I did. I should have known better but I chose to learn the hard way of the dangers alcohol holds. Since then I have not touched a drop of alcohol, and I never will.
Choosing my major was not an easy task until June 30th, 2007. I was contemplating the choosing business as my major even though my heart was not in it. However this all changed when I was involved in an accident which should have killed me. I regretfully admit that I was drinking and under no circumstances should I have been driving. But the experience has made me a better person and would not change it.
I was at a friend's house and celebrating a birthday and I had a few drinks. But a few hours into the night I made the dumbest decision of my life. Without telling anyone I got in my new Acura Integra and left for burger king. On my way back I was driving recklessly and took a corner at a high speed. My back end kicked out and I had lost all control of the car. As I was slid towards the trees directly in front of me, my fate uncertain, I closed my eyes and truly believed that I was finished.
When I gathered my senses all I could smell was the powder from the air bags. My arms were badly burnt from the air bags and I noticed my windshield was cracked. At that moment I came to realize the mess I had gotten my self into. I attempted to open my door, only to find that it was crushed in by a tree. So I climbed over my shifter and exited through the passenger door. By the time I had stumbled out of the car and emerged from the brush a police officer had already arrived on the scene and was radioing for back up. Although it was a warm summer night I was cold with fear of what could happen next.
The officer first on the scene asked if I needed an ambulance, but I insisted I was fine in hopes of leaving before they could realize I had been drinking. Within five minutes three more cruisers had arrived and were accessing the damage. They appeared suspicious from the moment they arrived and I also noticed them discretely searching my car for anything which didn't belong. But there was nothing there to be found and they began asking me questions. This eventually led to a field side sobriety test. I did not do as well as I thought because the next thing I knew I was being asked to take a Breathalyzer test which I reluctantly took. When my dad arrived he looked at my totaled car and then at me with pure disappointment. The car ride home was silent and the coming days were even tougher as I tried to put the ordeal behind me.
The one thing everyone agreed on about that night was that I was very lucky. Not only to be living, but also because I was not arrested. I believe that the reason why I was not arrested on that night was because the police officer saw something in me. He could see that I was not a trouble maker as I had no other history with the law, and I have never even had a detention in my life. His kindness to me left me with a new respect for law enforcement. He could easily have ruined my life by arresting me but instead gave me a second chance. This has inspired me to spend my life helping others through the field of criminal justice. Not a day has passed where I do not think about what I did. I should have known better but I chose to learn the hard way of the dangers alcohol holds. Since then I have not touched a drop of alcohol, and I never will.
Greetings!
I think your story is very moving, and not overly dramatic. Here are a few editing suggestions:
I was contemplating [delete the] choosing business as my major even though my heart was not in it. However, [comma]
But the experience has made me a better person and I would not change it. - Rather than "I would not change it" you might want to say something like "I am grateful for the lesson it taught me" or "the lesson I learned changed my life."
]
Without telling anyone, [comma] I got in my new Acura Integra and left for Burger King.
My car's back end kicked out and I [delete had] lost all control of the car. As I [delete was] slid towards the trees directly in front of me, my fate uncertain, I closed my eyes and truly believed that I was finished.
At that moment I came to realize the mess I had gotten myself into.
I also noticed them discreetly searching my car for anything which didn't belong.
Good job!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
I think your story is very moving, and not overly dramatic. Here are a few editing suggestions:
I was contemplating [delete the] choosing business as my major even though my heart was not in it. However, [comma]
But the experience has made me a better person and I would not change it. - Rather than "I would not change it" you might want to say something like "I am grateful for the lesson it taught me" or "the lesson I learned changed my life."
]
Without telling anyone, [comma] I got in my new Acura Integra and left for Burger King.
My car's back end kicked out and I [delete had] lost all control of the car. As I [delete was] slid towards the trees directly in front of me, my fate uncertain, I closed my eyes and truly believed that I was finished.
At that moment I came to realize the mess I had gotten myself into.
I also noticed them discreetly searching my car for anything which didn't belong.
Good job!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
Common app, failure, driving
Prompt: Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?
Hi everyone
I decided to write on how i failed to learn to drive and how i overcame it. Please suggest if it is fit for the topic. Thanks in advance.
Prompt: Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?
Hi everyone
I decided to write on how i failed to learn to drive and how i overcame it. Please suggest if it is fit for the topic. Thanks in advance.
I think it does and I can relate considering that I only recently got my driver's permit at 22. I hope your paper turns out great. Best of luck!