princetongirl /
Dec 12, 2008 #1
Heyy...this is not my written form of the essay...its a rough draft which isn't even in order...I don't need grammatical errors to be checked because ill change quite a bit of the essay...I would appreciate it if you could check the content and see whether it connects to the topic and whether i show how my presence will enrich their community...Also, any other suggestions on how i could do that would be great...thanks sooo much...here goes.. :)
Prompt: The University of Wisconsin values an educational environment that provides all members of the campus community with opportunities to grow and develop intellectually, personally, culturally and socially.
In order to give us a more complete picture of you as an individual, please tell us about the particular life experiences, perspectives, talents, commitments and/or interests you will bring to our campus. In other words, how will your presence enrich our community?
I was raised in the city of Dubai, far away from my native country of India and isolated from all my relatives. Perhaps this unique upbringing created my vigorous imagination as a child - I pictured myself as an astronaut sweeping across the starry skies, as a supermodel whose style and fame takes her past all regulations. What ultimately became my ambition in life began, in fact, when I was six years old. A relative, who is the vice-president of one of the biggest conglomerates in the Middle East, asked me at a formal party what I intended to become when I grew up. I replied cheekily, telling him that while he was merely the vice-president, I planned one day to be the president of a company. Even then, my ambition was to be more than an ordinary businesswoman. With dreams that fly high, I hope to inspire others around me to strengthen themselves in order for them to achieve their goal.
Since the age of 4, I have studied at the Dubai Gem Private School. It is a British school that has allowed me, an Indian, to mingle with a culturally diverse group of people who hail from all corners of the world. It enabled me to understand both different people and different ways of life. The academic atmosphere at Dubai Gem is both rigorous and competitive, and it has taught me the value of sheer persistence and hard work. Beyond the classroom, however, it has given me opportunities to develop as a person. The qualities I have developed at Dubai Gem will allow me to adapt successfully to the demanding routines and diverse lifestyle of the University of Wisconsin, both by being a part of the crowd while standing out from it.
One of my famous character traits is listening. Although people don't put much importance on it, I consider it to be one of my most significant assets. Everybody has a story, and every story makes me wiser and opens my eyes to a new perspective. Our true purposes in the world may not seem obvious, but we can uncover them if we learn to sit quietly and pay attention. As I enter the University of Wisconsin, I'll continue to listen to others, remain open-minded and learn from their experiences. I hope to enrich the lives of others by sharing my story.
Prompt: The University of Wisconsin values an educational environment that provides all members of the campus community with opportunities to grow and develop intellectually, personally, culturally and socially.
In order to give us a more complete picture of you as an individual, please tell us about the particular life experiences, perspectives, talents, commitments and/or interests you will bring to our campus. In other words, how will your presence enrich our community?
I was raised in the city of Dubai, far away from my native country of India and isolated from all my relatives. Perhaps this unique upbringing created my vigorous imagination as a child - I pictured myself as an astronaut sweeping across the starry skies, as a supermodel whose style and fame takes her past all regulations. What ultimately became my ambition in life began, in fact, when I was six years old. A relative, who is the vice-president of one of the biggest conglomerates in the Middle East, asked me at a formal party what I intended to become when I grew up. I replied cheekily, telling him that while he was merely the vice-president, I planned one day to be the president of a company. Even then, my ambition was to be more than an ordinary businesswoman. With dreams that fly high, I hope to inspire others around me to strengthen themselves in order for them to achieve their goal.
Since the age of 4, I have studied at the Dubai Gem Private School. It is a British school that has allowed me, an Indian, to mingle with a culturally diverse group of people who hail from all corners of the world. It enabled me to understand both different people and different ways of life. The academic atmosphere at Dubai Gem is both rigorous and competitive, and it has taught me the value of sheer persistence and hard work. Beyond the classroom, however, it has given me opportunities to develop as a person. The qualities I have developed at Dubai Gem will allow me to adapt successfully to the demanding routines and diverse lifestyle of the University of Wisconsin, both by being a part of the crowd while standing out from it.
One of my famous character traits is listening. Although people don't put much importance on it, I consider it to be one of my most significant assets. Everybody has a story, and every story makes me wiser and opens my eyes to a new perspective. Our true purposes in the world may not seem obvious, but we can uncover them if we learn to sit quietly and pay attention. As I enter the University of Wisconsin, I'll continue to listen to others, remain open-minded and learn from their experiences. I hope to enrich the lives of others by sharing my story.