Why Duke arts and sciences short essay? (any feedback will be welcome)

The Trinity College of Arts and Sciences at Duke University is perfect for my academic goals of studying political science and to a degree neuroscience because of their interdepartmental and thematic focus. Duke has made two things clear to me through my research and visitations: a refusal to settle for second behind the major ivy league colleges and a clearly established thematic rather than department by department approach to arts and sciences. This approach to learning that is stressed is perfect because of the fact that I desire a college that can provide for a strong education in political science, while at the same time allowing me to delve into the depths of other departments such as neuroscience. A schedule packed with classes from the major area of study of political science and neuroscience interdisciplinary classes through the psychology department would provide for a wide breadth of knowledge and feeling of opportunity unavailable at many other leading colleges. Duke truly provides a school of arts and sciences that would allow me to find my career interests through the various avenues I would be able to travel and pursue at the Trinity College of Arts and Sciences.

Sure, I'll be glad to help you out. I just copied and pasted your essay here, fixing all of the grammatical mistakes I found:

The Trinity College of Arts and Sciences at Duke University is perfect for my academic goals of studying political science and neuroscience because of their interdepartmental and thematic focus. Duke has made two things clear to me through my research and visitations: a refusal to settle for second behind the major ivy league colleges and a clearly established thematic approach to arts and sciences, rather than a department by department approach. This approach to learning is perfect because of the fact that I desire a college that can provide for a strong education in political science, while simultaneously allowing me to delve into the depths of other departments such as neuroscience. A schedule packed with classes from the major area of study of political science and neuroscience interdisciplinary classes through the psychology department would provide for a wide breadth of knowledge and feeling of opportunity unavailable at many other leading colleges. Duke provides a school of arts and sciences that would allow me to find my career interests through the various opportunities I would be able to take advantage of at the Trinity College of Arts and Sciences.

If you feel that any of my corrections are wrong, please go with the way you wrote it. Best of luck to you.

i think its really well written. its concise, its clear why you have chosen their program. I think its right on spot.

Good that you sound clear of what you want to do in Duke! Keep it up!

collegeseeker, thanks for helping!! you can use bold to highlight the changes toy make, if you help other people in the future. also, check out the EF contributor page!

In addition, how about this idea:

The Trinity College of Arts and Sciences at Duke University is perfect for my academic goals: studying political science and to earn a degree in neuroscience. I prefer Duke because of the interdepartmental and thematic focus.

...

A schedule packed with classes from the major area of study of political science and neuroscience interdisciplinary classes through the psychology department would provide for a wide breadth of knowledge and feeling of opportunity unavailable at many other leading colleges. Duke truly provides a school of arts and sciences that would enable me to find my career interests through the various avenues I would be able to travel and pursue at the Trinity College of Arts and Sciences.