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Dynamic phase! - Explain how you responded to a problem . What did you do ? What was the outcome?

Tansheen25 1 / -  
Oct 26, 2020   #1

Dynamic phase!

Born in an extremely attached and a huge joint family , i was lucky enough to be constantly exposed to extreme affection and bondage with each and every member of my family . But at the age of 11 i had to leave everything behind and move out of my comfort zone . I was sent to a boarding school for next 7 years . Staying away from my family was my weakness back then but i knew to achieve something i had to move out . There i met a gazillion of new and different people and had to adjust with every one together in a dormitory. I had to manage with everything i never had to adjust for, from dirty washrooms to random arguments it was all . After a month i had an option to leave but i stayed despite all the problems because i wanted to grow and i could already see steps towards a positive change in me which was more than anything for me . To achieve something we often have to sacrifice and so did i .The outcome of my sacrifice is that it has made me a very challenging, co -operative and an amiable person . In fact this 7 years of journey has prepared me completely for anything . And now once again if given this golden opportunity to be a part of your university , i am all set to leave everything aside and move to an entirely new nation which is thousands of miles apart with new people , different culture and above all away from my family because i know the exposure that i will get will help me become a new and a better version of myself .

Could you please help me with my UBC application?
Please help me with honest reviews
Thank you.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,735 3072  
Oct 27, 2020   #2
Your response is not really prompt responsive. The presentation does not depict a problem, solution, and outcome. This is more biographical in presentation, focusing on your personal development over time. That is an incorrect focus for your presentation. Stick to the requirement. Pick a challenging problem that has faced you in life. Something that did help you develop as a person, but did not take so much time for you to resolve as this essay presents. The more proper response would help show how you respond to stress under pressure or unexpected situations. Those are the more applicable scenario responses for this prompt. Do not get too over familiar with the reviewer, don't use slang words such as "gazillions". Though it is a fun word to use, it tends to disrespect the academic reviewer. Try to be relaxed and fun, without using slang words. Keep the word usage respectful.
Fallon 1 / 2 2  
Oct 28, 2020   #3
Your paragraph doesn't really respond to the prompt, adding on to what Holt said. There is no clear problem that you're focusing on. You might have been trying to focus on your move to a boarding school as your problem, but you never addressed how you responded. You skip your seven years of experience in boarding school and transition to how you grew. I, as a reader, don't know how your seven years specifically went and why your experiences were challenging. The things you did list as challenges in boarding school are not that specific and account for the first month of your experience. I would suggest narrowing down to a smaller incident or memory in the school (if you want to continue with this topic). Maybe you could write about the moment where you leave your family or when you learn how to take care of yourself. Check your grammar for errors, make sure the words you use fit the story (ie, bondage -> bonding), and spell out your numbers.

Home / Undergraduate / Dynamic phase! - Explain how you responded to a problem . What did you do ? What was the outcome?