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Eager Cops - Issue of Importance



kathytheson 5 / 11  
Oct 7, 2012   #1
Prompt Issue of importance to me (personal, school related, local, political, or international i scope) explain significance of that issue to yourself, your your family, your community, or your generation

If I coud have has many inputs as possible, that would be great! Revision is probably needed

Flashing red and blue lights rapidly approach the rear end of my car as my heart suddenly beats uncontrollably fast. I turn on my right blinker and pull into a vacant parking lot, watching and waiting for my doom. I'm already 3 minutes late to my morning shift and my heart will not slow down and my cheeks start developing a reddish tint that is noticeable from a mile away. " Knock Knock." I roll down my windows to be faced with the last person any local resident would want to encounter, a Flower Mound police officer.

You can easily tell that these officers mean business by their all black uniforms, and their glossy golden badges that kids can buy exact replicas of for their Halloween costumes. The Flower Mound Police Department is in hold of a large sum of cash because of all the revenue they bring in, being the #1 city with speed traps in the United States. Their newly stocked vehicles are blacked out, 2008 Dodge Chargers which is a major upgrade from their previous vehicles, the Ford Crown Victoria. Having these expensive advancements were thought to have a positive effect and give the officers an advantage in a high-speed chase or a hard-core crime situation. Instead, the cops are chasing down the drivers going 45 on a set, 40mph main road rather than chasing the teenagers on the other side of the street selling illegal narcotics to a 15-year old.

I'm fed up of being scared of the Flower Mound police officers and having a near heart attack every time I get a visual of their patrol cars. The police cause more fear in the town than stability, and it should never be like that in a modern-urban town like Flower Mound, or anywhere for that matter.

"Can I help you officer?"
"Ma'am, you're license plate light is out"
Furious that he pulled me over during broad daylight because of an unnoticeable light, I abruptly exclaimed that he just wasted both our times. The officer was appalled by my response, however after the embarrassing reality that it was almost impossible to notice from the distance he was at, he felt compelled to let me go on my way. Flower Mound police officers are going to continue making money off of unnecessary citations and continue to spread fear and anger throughout the community unless a change is made.

AustinArtist 2 / 1  
Oct 7, 2012   #2
I share your concern about overzealous police officers and I like your conversational method. It is engaging and easy to read and follow.
I would replace 3 minutes with "three minutes" and #1 with " a top"
I would remove "that kids can buy exact replicas of for their Halloween costumes" as it does not pertain to the topic.

I would add: The Flower Mound Police Department is in hold of a large sum of cash because of all the revenue they bring in from meritless traffic tickets.

You might add what effect this is having on you and your family and what you are able to do to change the situation. IE: Vote out the judges, city leaders. Set up a city meeting with the cheif of police ect... What effect is it having on the city's youth? This will help you completely address the prompt.

I like your style and hope you do well.


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