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'to earn as many experiences as possible' - SMU SIS appeal


holyeternal 1 / -  
Jun 21, 2012   #1
Hi there,

I recently applied to SMU and rejected. so i want to appeal the result.
The appeal is being made online through an account with the school and all it says is to state my reasons for appeal in less than 1000 words.

Below is my appeal essay
please comment for any grammar mistake and any suggestion would be helpful

Dear SMU,

I would like to study in SMU SIS because of its well known high graduate employment rate and its application in both IT and business. Sadly, SMU rejected my application; however, I know that SMU is one of the best institutions to educate me to my future career. That is why I decided to appeal and asked myself, why SMU should accept me? I have average grades and only did one community service; additionally, my SAT score only 1820. What can I offer to SIS?

SMU School of Information System is known for its higher dropout rate than the other major due to its excessive task; however, I believe that I can endure SIS tasks because of my hardworking personality. In real life, success can only be obtained with efforts, which is why I perceive my hardworking personality as one of my strong points. My hardworking personality also helps me to achieve many awards such as providing me with patience to build and to program a robot that won a competition.

But, I realized that hard work alone is not enough to achieve success, which is why I joined many clubs in my high senior period. I have joined Drama, Robot, Badminton, and English Club. Due to different natures of each club, I have earned lots of experience about interaction with people that have different nature and personality. These experiences also help me in my brief leadership role in some clubs like drama and ease me in a team work.

Furthermore, I also have big ambition to change the world by founding a communication based company that provides international communication service. This ambition derived from my desire to communicate with all of my relatives and friends around this world who got separated because of their needs. The first step to realize this plan is to earn as many experiences as possible by employed in major company. This step is also another reason why I really want to enroll In SMU SIS.

I am looking forward to enroll as SMU SIS student and would like to ask you to reconsider my application outcome. Thank you very much for your time.


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