Any feedback you can give as to grammar and style, whether the topic is appropriate or not, or anything else really would be great
Question: You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, the Short Answer, and the Personal Essay. While we leave the topic of the second essay entirely up to you, try telling us something about yourself that you believe we cannot learn elsewhere in your application. Please limit yourself to fewer than 500 words.
Second Essay
When you look at my transcript, you will most likely notice the rather large discrepancy between my grades from freshman to senior year. In fact, I have earned more A's during this one semester of my senior year than I did during my first three years combined. While this gap reflects poorly on my efforts at the start of high school, I feel that it more importantly demonstrates my growth as a student, as well as an individual.
To be blunt, I did not work hard during my freshman and sophomore years. This was not due to a lack of interest in school, but rather because I simply did not want to put in the effort needed to earn the grades I was capable of. When I came home from school, I would watch TV and go on the internet instead of doing my homework. The future was far away, and I did not think about how my laziness I was hurting my chances of succeeding later.
My junior year started off similarly to the previous two years. However, at the interim grading period, I was shocked to find that I had a D- in statistics-I had never seen a D on a report card in my life. My parents were mad to say the least, but I was even angrier with myself. It was hard for me to believe that I had let myself slip so badly. There was not an overnight change in my grades, but there definitely was one in my work habits. From the day I got my report card, I began doing my homework immediately after I got home from school-the TV and computer stayed off until I finished. I no longer went for tests unprepared and I stopped putting off papers and projects until the last minute. By the end of the semester I had brought my statistics grade up to a B-, and managed to avoid getting a single C in any of my classes, a first for me in high school. I continued these habits through second semester as well, and ended up raising my class rank by over thirty.
This year, all the work I have put into improving my grades finally paid off. I earned A's in nearly all of my classes. I have finally learned how to balance work and pleasure. I know when I can spend time with friends and when I have to stay home and study; I know when to put down the remote and pick up my pencil.
I realize that I had a less than stellar start to high school, and that there are other students who have worked hard all four years instead of just two. However, my drive to succeed in life is now no less than any of theirs. When I arrive at college, I am not going to repeat the mistakes I made when entering high school; I am going to work to my potential from day one.
Question: You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, the Short Answer, and the Personal Essay. While we leave the topic of the second essay entirely up to you, try telling us something about yourself that you believe we cannot learn elsewhere in your application. Please limit yourself to fewer than 500 words.
Second Essay
When you look at my transcript, you will most likely notice the rather large discrepancy between my grades from freshman to senior year. In fact, I have earned more A's during this one semester of my senior year than I did during my first three years combined. While this gap reflects poorly on my efforts at the start of high school, I feel that it more importantly demonstrates my growth as a student, as well as an individual.
To be blunt, I did not work hard during my freshman and sophomore years. This was not due to a lack of interest in school, but rather because I simply did not want to put in the effort needed to earn the grades I was capable of. When I came home from school, I would watch TV and go on the internet instead of doing my homework. The future was far away, and I did not think about how my laziness I was hurting my chances of succeeding later.
My junior year started off similarly to the previous two years. However, at the interim grading period, I was shocked to find that I had a D- in statistics-I had never seen a D on a report card in my life. My parents were mad to say the least, but I was even angrier with myself. It was hard for me to believe that I had let myself slip so badly. There was not an overnight change in my grades, but there definitely was one in my work habits. From the day I got my report card, I began doing my homework immediately after I got home from school-the TV and computer stayed off until I finished. I no longer went for tests unprepared and I stopped putting off papers and projects until the last minute. By the end of the semester I had brought my statistics grade up to a B-, and managed to avoid getting a single C in any of my classes, a first for me in high school. I continued these habits through second semester as well, and ended up raising my class rank by over thirty.
This year, all the work I have put into improving my grades finally paid off. I earned A's in nearly all of my classes. I have finally learned how to balance work and pleasure. I know when I can spend time with friends and when I have to stay home and study; I know when to put down the remote and pick up my pencil.
I realize that I had a less than stellar start to high school, and that there are other students who have worked hard all four years instead of just two. However, my drive to succeed in life is now no less than any of theirs. When I arrive at college, I am not going to repeat the mistakes I made when entering high school; I am going to work to my potential from day one.