Hello, could you read my Common App Essay for prompt 1 and critique?
"Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story."
I'll share it as soon as you comment/reply down below. Thank you so much!
Eating dinner alone is a catalyst for growth. Mentally and physically. Mentally because it gave me a chance to think about the day. Physically, because my parents weren't there to prevent me from eating half a chocolate cake for dinner. When I was 14, I ate alone and slept alone in my house every night. Due to layoffs, my parents' work schedules changed and both of them would not get home until midnight. At first, it was a blast. What teenager doesn't love the independence of no parents?
I was thrilled at first. No parents telling me when to go to sleep, when to come home from a friend's house, or what to eat. I could grab a ride with a friend and go to Starbucks everyday if I wanted. And, of course, I did. But sadly, daily $5 coffees and a teenager's budget were not sustainable for very long.
Balancing chores and schoolwork was difficult. But, eating alone and the constant loneliness and uncertainty of being in an empty house became the biggest burden. My parents made sure that dinner was in the refrigerator when I came home from school and that I would get a phone call from at least one of them that night. But, how do you show your parents the science project you got an A on via phone call or what outfit you wore for picture day?
Without my parents at home to clean up after me, I took on more chores. In truth, I hated doing dishes every night and laundry every Sunday and Thursday night, but I felt like an ungrateful daughter if I didn't. Once I got my driver's license, I drove myself to my own doctors' appointments,
extracurricular activities, and bought groceries. I was responsible for taking my diabetic grandmother to all her appointments and making sure she took all her medications the right way because she couldn't read the labels. Double checking that her blood sugar wasn't too low and making sure that all the insurance papers were in check gave me a taste of sweet, sweet adulthood. Going to the pharmacy and trying to buy osteoporosis medication as a 16 year old girl was a doozy. But in doing these things alone, I stopped asking others if I could and started asking myself if I can. I realized that I didn't need my parents' permission for everything I did, so long as I thought of all the consequences myself. With this realization, I found that I could make more decisions by myself and became more independent because of it.
Looking back at my lonely childhood, I am grateful for the insight it afforded me, and, strangely, I am grateful for the challenges that came with absentee parents. Without their absence, I would've never been pushed to do things on my own. I could've easily let my parents handled everything if they were at home with me. But without them, I have learned how to care for others while also caring for myself. I have faced the monsters under my bed, alone, and came out stronger. I know I still have more to learn, but with this, I know I have the ability to adapt to any situation. Without this experience, I would not have become the person I am today.
"Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story."
I'll share it as soon as you comment/reply down below. Thank you so much!
Eating dinner alone is a catalyst for growth. Mentally and physically. Mentally because it gave me a chance to think about the day. Physically, because my parents weren't there to prevent me from eating half a chocolate cake for dinner. When I was 14, I ate alone and slept alone in my house every night. Due to layoffs, my parents' work schedules changed and both of them would not get home until midnight. At first, it was a blast. What teenager doesn't love the independence of no parents?
I was thrilled at first. No parents telling me when to go to sleep, when to come home from a friend's house, or what to eat. I could grab a ride with a friend and go to Starbucks everyday if I wanted. And, of course, I did. But sadly, daily $5 coffees and a teenager's budget were not sustainable for very long.
Balancing chores and schoolwork was difficult. But, eating alone and the constant loneliness and uncertainty of being in an empty house became the biggest burden. My parents made sure that dinner was in the refrigerator when I came home from school and that I would get a phone call from at least one of them that night. But, how do you show your parents the science project you got an A on via phone call or what outfit you wore for picture day?
Without my parents at home to clean up after me, I took on more chores. In truth, I hated doing dishes every night and laundry every Sunday and Thursday night, but I felt like an ungrateful daughter if I didn't. Once I got my driver's license, I drove myself to my own doctors' appointments,
extracurricular activities, and bought groceries. I was responsible for taking my diabetic grandmother to all her appointments and making sure she took all her medications the right way because she couldn't read the labels. Double checking that her blood sugar wasn't too low and making sure that all the insurance papers were in check gave me a taste of sweet, sweet adulthood. Going to the pharmacy and trying to buy osteoporosis medication as a 16 year old girl was a doozy. But in doing these things alone, I stopped asking others if I could and started asking myself if I can. I realized that I didn't need my parents' permission for everything I did, so long as I thought of all the consequences myself. With this realization, I found that I could make more decisions by myself and became more independent because of it.
Looking back at my lonely childhood, I am grateful for the insight it afforded me, and, strangely, I am grateful for the challenges that came with absentee parents. Without their absence, I would've never been pushed to do things on my own. I could've easily let my parents handled everything if they were at home with me. But without them, I have learned how to care for others while also caring for myself. I have faced the monsters under my bed, alone, and came out stronger. I know I still have more to learn, but with this, I know I have the ability to adapt to any situation. Without this experience, I would not have become the person I am today.
