please help me with grammar and word choice
I will help anyone who helps me
Please tell us what led you to select both your anticipated academic area(s) of study and the NYU school/college/program or the Abu Dhabi campus. What interest you most about your intended disciplin? Mention any extracurricular or non-school-related activities or expereinces that demonstrate your interest.
Because of my interest my helping the economic improvement in less-developed countries, I choose the major business and political economy. I have traveled accross four continents and lived in two of them therefore, I fully understand the state of poverty some people are still living through. Volunteered at the Sichuan Earthquake in 2008, I saw the state of darth even in the so called "hot shot," China. The best way to help those people is to improve the overall economic standing of the country.
NYU is "In and of the City" and "In and of the World." What does the concept of a global network universty mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City would change you as a person and equip you to build corss-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?
A global network university means uniting different pieces of me into one. Living in China until age eight and returning every summer to visit my grandparents, there is a part of me that can act completely in sync with the Chinese social expectation. However, when I return to the U.S., that part of me shuts down and the American me resurfaces. Studying at NYU, I hope to put the pieces of me together. Not just acting according to the social norm but someone that is truly me; unique and constant.
Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply?
Unlike most top schools, Brown University is located in more rural surrounding. Without the suffocating grey cubes of the large city such as New York or Boston, the unique artistic culture of Brown standout even among the beautiful buildings of Ivys. The beauty does not pertain only to the university campus, the whole city of Providence is filled with amazing architectures. Most importantly, Brown University provides many previleges that most undergraduate students do not receive. First of all, Brown only requires four cources per semster, allowing the students to explore more extra-curricular and social life. In addition, some obscure majors such as marine biology, medical philosophy, and Egyptian language, are available here. This broadens the possible interests and diversity of the student body.
Why are you drawn to the academic fields you indicated in the Anticipated Degree and Academic Interest questions above?
During the summer of 2008, I volunteered at the Sichuan Earthquake Relief. Taking care of the orphans and children whose parents are under medical attention, I saw the lack of resource and proper equipment these kids had to endure. My compassionate nature, deeply moved by their condition, turned helping those in poverty into my mission. Though I used my own money to purchase supplies for the children under my care, I could only help a few of them. My heart broke as I saw the sad faces of the kids next door who did not recieve this "special treatment." Two years later, I am interning for Mary Kay Sigaty, a member of the Howard County Council. With her help, my classmates and I will collect food items on large scale to help support the local poverty population. The estimated collection size is over 5,000 cans of food. This made me realize that through political participation and envolvement, I can help more people, instead of just the 20 kids I took care of.
I only read your Brown supplements.
1. The weather and the curriculum? Come on. If you were trying to write something that is generic, cliche and uninteresting, I'd say that you succeeded. Brown's Open Curriculum and campus-setting are ridiculously overused topics.
2. You spent too much time on the anecdote and not enough time emphasizing how Brown's resources can help you in furthering your passions. The only time you actually answered the prompt was in the first clause of your last sentence...
