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Education Budget Cuts, the significance of an issue that is important to me- UT

Soji Skulls 2 / 5  
Jul 23, 2011   #1
My prompt is to explain the significance of an issue of importance to me.

Here is my essay. Can you tell me if it is any good. If so, could you point out some errors.:

In my opinion, the educational system is the most vital part of a country. Unfortunately, the people that run the country that I reside in, America, don't seem to think so, or, at least they do not act like it. There has been a trend of education budget cutbacks that has been running rampant throughout the country and our education system is suffering because of it. It seems like when ever the government needs money the first place that they draw it from is the education funds. This decision seems senseless on the government's part because our country is already lagging behind other countries in the subjects of math and science and many politicians are talking about improving the scores in math and science, but I can not possibly see how we can improve these scores by taking money away from many of the educational programs that can probably help these improvements happen.

People are always talking about how education cutbacks will affect the country in the future, but let's talk about the immediate effects of the education funding cutbacks. In my own state of Texas, there are plans to make budget cuts in education that not only affect elementary schools, middle schools, and high schools, but also public universities including University of Texas at Austin which may have up to twenty percent of its government funds reduced. This means an increase in tuition for students like me because, you know, it is not already expensive as it is. On top of this, because public education facilities are receiving a reduction in funding, they will have to make some faculty reductions which may include professors and teachers including all of the other changes that they will have to make. This in turn, will create an increase in class size which will make it harder for students to learn. Sometimes these budget cuts cause for schools to be closed down all together. As you can see, education budget cuts create a bad chain reaction that negatively affects so many areas that include job employment, education quality, and tuition pricing.

I feel strongly about this subject because, as a student and a prospective teacher, I want more for the future students than my fellow classmates and I have. I also want to actually see our country's status in education improve and not hear hypocrite politicians just talk about improving it. Not only do I want more for the future students of America, I want more for the future teachers, so they will have more funds and programs to help provide students with the best education because our country can only lag behind so far from the competitors before we are no longer competitors. I am not entering the education field for the money or because it is an easy job. I am entering the education field because I want to make sure that my students receive the rare quality education that I have received from my school. In conclusion, I have strong hope that the education in this country will change for the better, but I do not believe that education cutbacks are doing anymore than increasing class sizes and decreasing the quality of education.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Jul 25, 2011   #2
It seems like when ever the government needs money the first place that they draw it from is the education funds.

Yeah! Because nobody cares about education. Lawmakers have incentive to do what will help the big financial interest groups, because that way these groups will support them (the politicians). But the kids in school cannot support the politicians, so the politicians forget about them!!

...hear hypocritical politicians...

Great job, I love it. I think it will be a successful essay. If this was my essay, I would want to cite some recent research studies that support your argument. You wrote this very well, but the idea is still SIMPLE. It is obvious. I think it is already a strong essay, but if you look at some research articles you can dig deeper and make specific suggestions based on the research data.

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