Education Interruption (common app, NOT an essay) feedback?

This is NOT my essay, but I don't know what writing style they want. So I just did it as simple as possible. Thoughts?

"My Education interruption was due to changing high schools 3 times.
For my freshman year of high school, I went to a boarding school, [school] , in [town] for a year. In order to go to this school, I skipped 8th grade and went into ninth grade. The school was also a working farm and had wilderness training as a part of their curriculum. I loved this school and what its program had to offer.

For my sophomore year, I decided to stay closer to home. I attended [school] , a small independent school dedicated to environmental science and the arts in [town]. I felt at home with their enthusiastic, knowledgeable staff, the weekly field studies, and the interning program.

For my junior year, my father retired from his job and decided to pursue a career in nursing. He moved the family from Northern Virginia to the Hampton Roads area. I attended [school] . This was quite a big switch, going from a small student population to a 2,000 student population, private to public, and non-accredited to accredited. But I still excelled. I plan on graduating [school] Spring of 2013. "

I think you should focus more on you, your studies, and how moving affected you and your studies. Colleges are looking for your writing style but they want you to set yourself apart form the other applicants. You want to make an impression and to do that you have to be creative and specifically describe how important events in your life affected you. Also, I know you went simple but I would try to intertwine some larger, more meaningful words to make yourself sound a little more sophisticated. I hope this helped! Good Luck!

And if you wouldn't mind, could you please look at my common app essay? I would love any feedback you have! Thanks!