Essay on education and life for VCU. Feedback...thanks

I came back to America at the age of thirteen from Gambia, Africa. Being that my parents are African, I am dark skinned. I was born in Montgomery County, Maryland but I was sent to Africa after my parents divorced, at the age of 6 or 7. When I came back in 05, I started middle school. I was teased and mocked about my skin tone. I would walk in school and someone would just blurt out "you are so black" or I would walk down the halls with people whispering or even speaking out aloud making it seem like I didn't exist. I would go home and cry eyes out. My third day of school I spent my lunch time in the restroom crying. I did not want to go to class I wanted to hide under a rock for life. I felt like no one liked me and that everyone wanted me to feel like I was a non human. The only person that made me feel good about myself was my counselor. I remember the first day I walked into her office for registration she told me I had the most beautiful skin ever and I had smile as hard as possible showing her all my thirty one teeth. She made me feel like the most beautiful person in the world. After awhile I got really confused because when I went out everyone would continuously tell me how beautiful my skin was, and how I should be on cover girl but when I was in school my peers made me feel like the ugliest person ever.

Later in the tenth grade, the more I started listening to my mom about how I shouldn't care about what others say the more I started to realize that what other people said didn't matter, that I am a queen because of my color and that I am a queen because I will start wearing it proudly and what people said won't make or break me. I stopped concentrating on that and started concentrating on what I wanted to do in life. After two years of thinking, I realized I wanted to major in criminal justice because first of all, I want to be the one whose there when people are treated unfairly, the way my counselor was there for me, when I was treated unfairly for something I couldn't help. Secondly, I want to bring a different perspective to the field. Criminal justice is not only about shooting and killing, you save and change lives. It makes a person stronger both inside and outside. Criminal justice keeps you well rounded, you go beyond the technical training and you learn from the past to what the future holds. I mainly love it because it plays a vital role in keeping people safe. It is also not just one career for people to choose from, it's a variety of careers to choose from. I also get to make a real difference in my country.

In conclusion, this is just a story on quarter of my life and education. I hope the three fourths of it will be experienced in your school, my career in criminal justice and growing up to be a mature woman.

One would imgine you are, yes. I think you don't need this sentence...

Africa after my parents divorced, at the age of six or 7 . When I came back in 2005, I started middle school and was teased and mocked about my skin tone.

In the last paragraph, I think you should probably name this school and its particular program. Go into more detail, and tel them why this school is exactly the right place for your specific philosophy and interests within the field of criminal justice. If you show that you are already very familiar with this school, and very focused, it will put you at an advantage.

That is just my idea...

thanks