"education" is little more than an expensive isolation - essays for Stanford.

Hi all, I am a transfer student trying to apply for Stanford. I know that my chance is pretty low. But I still want to try. Thank you for your help.

This is the admission essay for common application website.

The Transfer Application Personal Essay asks candidates to provide a statement that addresses your reason(s) for transferring and the objective(s) you hope to achieve.

"Too much of what is called "education" is little more than an expensive isolation from reality", said Thomas Sowell, an American writer and Economist. This is especially true for new graduates who do not have a slightest idea of what the real world is like. Consequently, they join the competitive workplace environment unprepared. With his perspective in mind, I want to transfer to a four years institution to balance between my education and reality.

Being a community college student has prepared me well for this fact. During my two years, I have tried to contact as many students from various universities as possible in order to ask them about their experiences. Most of the time, their responses are "I am lost", "I don't know what to do with this degree" or "I will graduate tomorrow and have no idea about what's next." Definitely, from their experiences, I realize that getting a degree is not my goal of transferring. I transfer to interact with active professors who do professional work or rigorous research. With their experiences in the field, I can learn the glamorous upside and the hidden downside about my career. Only then am I able to graduate and feel well-prepared for the reality.

I have always been fascinated by biology because of my unquenched thirst for the knowledge of nature. Entering this field, I am aware of its promise for a financially secure future in the field of medicine, environment and health care. However, I want more than that. Physics give us command of physical world. Mastering or having a substantial amount of its knowledge, together with biology, will give one a higher and deeper insight to the mystery of the physical life. For my undergraduate study, I want to survey the interrelationship between biology and physics. I want to graduate with an honor thesis in Biophysics. Then, I will look at advancing my knowledge at a medical school, from which I will graduate and become a biophysics medical researcher. Certainly, while I am at school, I always have to bear in mind that, besides the course works, I also have to look at internship at a laboratory so that I do not lose sight of my education. Transferring to a higher education institution will guarantee me with my goal. With the unlimited resources and knowledgeable professors of the university, I believe that I can fulfill my goal of balancing between my education and reality.

MinhDuc Nguyen- Evergreen Valley college

"The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something."

- Randy Pausch, the Last Lecture.
always give a shot :D


Why mention four-year institution? Are you transferring from a school that takes less than 4 years?
Ah, I see, community college. I'd suggest then that you say: to Stanford, a top quality institution that would balance my education and the reality. After all, Stanford isn't any four-year institution.

I like the organization of your essay. You divided your essay in essentially 2 parts: real-life experience, and your own major. Then you tie both together. (you do have to be more precise in tying them together though. Just through internships? I mean, couldn't you give an example of a certain field of your major and explain what you could possibly get in Stanford, apart from the "unlimited resources", there's not such thing anyways, that'll allow you to get the experience needed?)

Mentioning Stanford, I have NO IDEA of why you want to go to Stanford. The only reason you've given that you want to transfer is real-life experience. Why couldn't you get that in a community college? And more importantly, WHY STANFORD? You could get internships in virtually ANY college, but why a top notch school like Stanford? You need to provide reasons other than internships and real life experience. I'd suggest you look up Stanford's website and actually go through their programs and tie that into your major.

As it is, this essay unfortunately won't help you in your quest to Stanford. In order to have an impact, you need to really convey why Stanford is different than any other four-year institution to you.

thank you! I will make certain changes!

I love the detailed explanation of the first paragraph. It's a good eye catcher for the reader and it keeps them interested, however, you might want to cut out the redundant words in your essay. good luck on your admission to stanford.

Put that comma inside the quotes. also, why capitalize economist and not writer! We writers might take offense! :-)

from reality," said Thomas Sowell, an American writer and economist . This is especially true for new graduates who do not have the slightest idea of what the real world is like.

future in the fields of medicine, environment and health care.

I am not sure how to fix this stuff below. It is confusing:
Certainly, while I am at school, I always have to bear in mind that, besides the course work, I also have to plan my internshi p so that I do not lose sight of my education. Transferring to a higher education institution will guarantee me with my goal. With the unlimited resources and knowledgeable professors of the university, I believe that I can fulfill my goal of balancing between my education and reality.

:-)