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"educational interests and goals" - U of Minnesota essay



catherineding 3 / 8  
Oct 19, 2009   #1
The question is:
Educational interests
In English, describe your educational interests and goals, educational background, special interests, and plans for when you return to your home country. Please include an explanation of why you would like to study the major you have selected.


It is really a long question and i am a little bit lost when i have to talk about so many things in just one essay. I really need everyone's help, especially grammar! THX!

Life is a climb, but the view is great. I usually think of myself a lucky one who can choose my own concentrations and enjoy the beautiful journey to the climax. During my three-year high school life, I have received not only the high-quality education, but also the qualities and experiences accumulating for me to make contributions to the world..

I have never dared to think about that, in the future, I can make a difference of world until I spent almost three years studying in my high school. What I have learned at school is how to be an all-round mature person instead to become a sponge which only absorbs knowledge from text books. The abundant extracurricular activities train me to become more confident; the projects presentation support me to become a great leader and the open atmosphere of class leads me to learn for the sake of learning. Thus, even though there is no frame to form me or force to push me, I still become more independent and confident to face any obstacles in the future. Also life in my high school broadens my horizon of this world. I have a passionate interest in vast knowledge ranging from history, literature to business, finance and even medical, astronomical. Both vast knowledge and traits I have gained support me to be ready for my future.

To be a volunteer also has endowed me precious experience prepared for my future career. Tutoring children after school at an orphanage helped me more committed in my goals and majors. To be frank, once I thought that children, living in orphanage, were shy and hard to communicate with due to the images presented in movies and books. However six little boys I have been staying with are all adorable, out-going and very diligent. I think this situation definitely attributes to agreeable amenities at the orphanage and the amiable, responsible staff there. The complete facilities equipped there, ranging from hospitals to schools help children feel comfortably and live like home. Besides, staff and volunteers like me help both intellect and mental development of those children. Therefore they have faith in themselves and committed in their goals for the future.

This valuable experience not only help me become more committed in my choice of my majors studying in college, but also help me have a more strong wish to help children in need in my future. As society has become highly-competitive and more or less materialized, finance plays a more important role in society. I believe that the wish to help children in need like disabled children or orphans is not enough. In fact, basic life and education equipment are indispensable. Also, in the long run, the future development of those children will be more complicated and has to be taken into consideration. Study and research in finance area can definitely enhance my capability. But this equipment can be facilitate by others, more important mental development have to be depend on children themselves. Mental health issue has become more important in society. When Wenchuan earthquake occurred in China, 2008, countless brave soldiers and volunteers devoted themselves into rescue. One of them is my friend's father. From her, I heard many stories that the public usually omitted. The most shocked one was how her once strong-mind father became so emotional and delicate that almost cried every time he called her. She told me that the disastrous scenes overwhelmed anyone there and people not only physically, but also mentally got hurt. Thus, psychological treatment is of great importance. I do believe that how to appropriately direct mental development of people, especially children, is also of indispensable importance. And this is why I also have a wish to master psychology knowledge in my college life.

Life is not only a climb which is full of obstacles, but also a long journey which will be long and rough beyond our imagination. However, I have confidence that with the beautiful view alongside, I can arrive in my destination ultimately.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Oct 20, 2009   #2
I really understand what you mean about having trouble writing about so many different things, but actually it is all ONE thing. Your interests, special interests, plans for study, plans for the future -- all of these are aspects of ONE thing, ad that one thing is your personal philosophy of life. THEREFORE, you should give your essay one powerful theme, and it should be your passion, your motivation. Try to express your philosophy of life in the first paragraph, and pretend you only get to write that single paragraph to express yourself. Then, use the rest of the essay to cover the many aspects of it.

So, in your first paragraph, I think you should add one more sentence to the end. Make it a sentence that tells what is most important to you -- is it finance, educating children, or psychology? Perhaps you want to study finance and psychology because you believe that is the best way you can work to improve opportunities for children.

Can you identify one, single most important theme and name it in a sentence that you add to the end of that first paragraph? Then, mention it again in the last paragraph, and really spend some time explaining your SPECIFIC plan for the future.

:)) This has lots of potential, and I like the way you think!!

The most shocking one was how her once strong-mind father became so emotional and delicate that almost cried...
OP catherineding 3 / 8  
Oct 20, 2009   #3
Thank you!

I tried to connect those points together. How my backgroud endowed me important traits and then how these traits helped me choose my majors and finally what i would do in the future which was envolved in my majors. And I think i probably talk about one major clearly and that will help my readrs undersood.

Thank you for your advice! :)


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