'The EducationUSA adviser' - answer to the Dickinson Supplement

From my very childhood I was fascinated with engineering. Since then my goal was to be an engineer. Understanding my interests in engineering I figured out that Physics is the only way through which I can reach my goal. But then I didn't understand the vastness of Physics which I do now. Now I know that I have way more opportunities than just engineering through Physics. As my interests have expanded I have also figured that studying Physics along with Astronomy expands my possibilities. Because a lot of things interest me only a liberal arts education can meet my requirements.

Sitting with the adviser at the EducationUSA and after a lot of research of my own I found out about Dickinson. I figured that I need a college that is small, private, diverse, and of course it has to have a good community. In Dickinson I would also get the opportunity to choose courses flexibly, one that excites me most and one that I would like. After meeting all the first hand conditions Dickinson meets one of my major requirements, it provides research opportunities. In Dickinson I can do my research in the Britton Observatory or in Plasma Physics or I can just start a project of my own! As my goal is to be a scientific researcher I just had to start all this from the beginning. Moreover I would have the laboratories to work in with state-of-the-art facilities and it just goes on. In Dickinson I also have the opportunity of 3-2 Engineering through which after getting a strong background in Physics I can go into studying Engineering, which is my dream. I have participated in a lot of community service programs here and I hope that at Dickinson I will also be able to involve myself with community service as it has a great community. I need a community that would be warmly welcoming me as I will be very far away from my home and Dickinson meets this requirement too. I am happy that after a lot of searching here and there, I have found a college that really meets my need and here I will be able to contribute with my leadership and volunteer skills. That is why I have chosen to apply to Dickinson and thus my interests, talents and goals fit with Dickinson's distinctive character.

Hello,
This essay lacks any real substance. You do not demonstrate that you have a real desire for engineering or physics. What about engineering made you fascinated with it as a Child? Why Physics? What experience do you have so far with Physics. What experiments have you conducted? Examples, examples, examples. Anyone can say they LOVE something, heck I love aviation- but what specifically have you done in pursuit of that "happiness." Just rambling off thoughts as soon as they come to mind without any concrete facts or experiences to back them up is NOT a way to get into a engineering program. -AAO

Hope this helps.

Thanks dumi and thanks admission2012 for your valuable advice.
Well I have tried to add some according to what you guys suggested and dumi here's the prompt too:

Another thing is there's a book I am mentioning in the essay but I didn't give the name. It's "For the Love of Physics" written by Walter Lewin, a professor at MIT. The book is quite a auto biography and also an insight to celestial objects. So should I also tell about it and if, then how?

Thanks for the help.

According to the prompt do I need to add anything else?
Any experience or more explanations?

Hi!
How were you thinking of using the book?
You do a good job of answering the prompt, I don't think that you need to include the book in your essay.

There was one sentence I didn't really understand, and it was this one: "The method of measuring the speed of sound by creating resonance might not seem that complicated but still it's interesting!" It just kind of stood out to me and I think it needs rephrasing. Maybe to "The method of measuring the speed of sound by creating resonance might not seem that complicated but still it's is interesting!" Because if you add the part about it not seeming complicated, you are sort of belittling your own capabilities and interests, which you don't really want to do.

Hope that helped!

Thanks for the reply.
You really think I don't need to give anymore detail?

But I am surprised how did my post got renamed!!!