I am applying to the American University in Cairo
I have two versions of the essay. The first is the original and the second is an edited form.
I would really appreciate if both my essays were read and I got some feedback on which is better and if it can be improved in anyway. Any suggestions and positive comments are welcome. Thank you
Prompt: Why are you applying to AUC?
Version#1:
I have to be honest. Majority of the time, any person would look at this essay question and immediately assume that it should be effortless to answer. For a percentage of individuals, that would be true. However, for me it was not. Usually, I consider myself to be a very well-articulate person. However, for this essay, I could not bring myself to type out a single sentence without back-spacing it away and starting anew. For days, I found myself staring at a blank screen; not a thought came to me that I found suitable enough to get me admission at The American University in Cairo. That is when it had occurred me; just answer the question. If they want you to write why you are applying, tell the truth.
Truthfully, I had never heard of the school before applying this year. Therefore, I cannot really state all of the credentials that the university holds. I can only really say from what I know, it seems like the perfect fit for me. I am a person who loves to travel. Fortunately, I was able to do a lot as a younger child. Because the school is in a different country, it will give me the opportunity to add Egypt to my list of countries I have visited and explored, per say.
Another factor that attracted me to AUC is the fact that it is very diverse. I am a Black American Muslim. I have faiths and beliefs that are a little different and sometimes, can be strange to other people. Most colleges I applied to had a small percentage of Muslim students. I did not want to go to a school where most of the students are ignorant to a variety of religions. Because Egypt is a predominately Muslim country, the students there will be just as open to different cultures and religions, as I am. I will not be treated as though I am a terrorist, due to the negative image Islam is portrayed as in the International media.
In addition to being able to study abroad, I saw read that the school offered Journalism and Sociology as degree programs. I took a sociology class in high school and I enjoyed it so much. I have always had an interest in writing and toyed with the idea of being a journalist for a short while. If I am accepted by AUC, I am glad I will not have to change my interests of study because the school does not offer them.
Conveniently, my family is planning to relocate to Egypt two to three months before the fall semester starts. Therefore, I will be close to them and will not have to worry about being in a foreign country alone.
Lastly, I am very pleased that the school is an American University; therefore, even though I am abroad, I can still get an American college education, while living abroad, without having to enroll in an online school.
Version#2:
Truthfully, I had never heard of the school before applying this year. Therefore, I cannot really state all of the credentials that the university holds. I can only really say from what I know, it seems like the perfect fit for me. I am a person who loves to travel. Fortunately, I was able to do a lot as a younger child. Because the school is in a different country, it will give me the opportunity to add Egypt to my list of countries I have visited and explored, per say.
Another factor that attracted me to AUC is the fact that it is very diverse. I am a Black American Muslim. I have faiths and beliefs that are a little different and sometimes, can be strange to other people. Most colleges I applied to had a small percentage of Muslim students. I did not want to go to a school where most of the students are ignorant to a variety of religions. Because Egypt is a predominately Muslim country, the students there will be just as open to different cultures and religions, as I am. I will not be treated as though I am a terrorist, due to the negative image Islam is portrayed as in the International media.
In addition to being able to study abroad, I saw read that the school offered Journalism and Sociology as degree programs. I took a sociology class in high school and I enjoyed it so much. I have always had an interest in writing and toyed with the idea of being a journalist for a short while. If I am accepted by AUC, I am glad I will not have to change my interests of study because the school does not offer them.
Conveniently, my family is planning to relocate to Egypt two to three months before the fall semester starts. Therefore, I will be close to them and will not have to worry about being in a foreign country alone.
Lastly, I am very pleased that the school is an American University; therefore, even though I am abroad, I can still get an American college education, while living abroad, without having to enroll in an online school.
I have to be honest. Majority of the time, any person would look at this essay question and immediately assume that it should be effortless to answer. For a percentage of individuals, that would be true. However, for me it was not.
Yes it is! Don't say this stuff above.
Don't say you want to go there because you want to be around others of your same religion, or because you love to travel. These things may be true, but it sure would be great if you were attending this school because you want to learn from a prof whose contributions to your chosen field you admire. It would be great if you had a mission in life and this school's location and resources were crucial steps along the way.
Most colleges to which I applied to had a small percentage
per say per se
Oh, this is a bad mistake: Usually, I consider myself to be a very well articulate person.
Conveniently, my family is planning to relocate to Egypt two to three months before this is not an impressive reason!
Truthfully, I had never heard of the school before applying this year. --- ahhhh!!!! start over!
:-) I admire your honesty, but... talk about your mission in life. Name professors, describe your life plan for the time you will spend in Egypt.
