'When I was eight, I found my safe haven' Playing Volleyball; Columbia - Single Activity

Briefly describe which single activity listed in the Activity section of your Common Application represents your most meaningful commitment and why. (150 words or less)

When I was eight, I found my safe haven. There I could relax and forget about all of my problems, it was only the ball, my teammates, the court and I. I remember spending hours and hours playing without worrying about anything. I had finally found where I belonged. Playing volleyball was and still is my escape. Nothing matters when I'm playing, not even my family problems, my mother's disorder or any other issues I can have. All I have to think about is where I should put my right or left foot, or to whom I should send the ball. For years, it was all that I did, it was my passion. I grew up with volleyball, playing in competitions and training almost everyday. I learnt how to work as a team, develop my leadership and most important, I learnt that I could have fun doing something that I love.

I just wrote this. It is pretty raw, so please fell free to give me your opinion, I would appreciate it a lot!! should I say more about how I feel? Is it good enough?

most important or most importantly? When you describe volleyball and how it affected you it sounds very general. Try to elaborate more.

chelles
you spelled relationships wrong. Other than that it seems fine. But I would avoid using lists as the last sentence. Your last sentence should leave a bigger impact rather than just a list.

Well, I think you have not answered the prompt well.... You keep telling about your passion about volleyball, but nothing is convincingly said about how it became such relieving experience for you. I think you need to improve this answer.

Also, I have an admin request for you - You should have a meaningful title for your essays when you open new threads (this titled is attended by us). It helps you also to earn more comments :)