Elaborate on Extra Curricular Activity: "Ace Mentor Program"

Hi I just want to say thank you for anyone who checks my essay. I will definitely help out this site.

Essay Prompt:

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

Here is my essay:

Wouldn't it be great if life was full of signs that told people what they would enjoy doing with the rest of their lives? Well, life isn't necessarily giving blunt signs of what you should do, but ambitious people can always seek out what their passions are. That's why I joined the ACE Mentor Program. A group of students are selected to work with an architect, an interior designer, or a civil engineer. Students can observe each of these professionals and choose what they are more interested in. I enjoyed working with Mr. Gill, the civil engineer at the firm. He showed me drafts of structures and allowed interns to sit with him in a meeting where a project was discussed. This job incorporates my love of structures, provides an array of work environments ranging from construction sites to round table offices, and incorporates individual and group work.

[Its 148 words.]

Again thank you, please be critical. I will come back when its not 2:30 in the morning to read other essays.

I wish I would've known this site existed earlier! :)

Life would be much simpler if we all knew instinctively, what we would enjoy doing as adults. Well, life doesn't necessarily give blunt signs as to what you should do, but...

I'm just making a suggestion here, it's better not to include contractions in formal writing!
You might add how lucky you feel, to have access to such a class.

Neva

thank you Neva, i took off most of the contractions and took the beginning you wrote.

I also changed everything to past tense.

Awesome, the admissions people could not ask for more. Good luck!!