Empowerment/Independence/Healthy environment; Barnard Supplement - "Why Barnard?"

1.How did you first learn about Barnard College and what factors have influenced your decision to apply? Why do you think the College would be a good match for you?

I had never considered a single-sex education when my college advisor told me about Barnard. However, after talking to graduates of women's colleges, reading articles and visiting the Barnard campus, where I found myself surrounded by welcoming, confident and intelligent women, I was positively surprised. Especially when a current student told me that at Barnard "everyone was that girl" after conversing with me about education, I knew that I wanted to call this place home for the next four years of my life. I would be inspired to grow in areas I already have some experience in, such as the work with children, by volunteering with HEAL or by founding a Barnard Children's Chorus, find new interests and expand my knowledge, a rigorous yet enriching experience encouraging personal growth. Additionally the liberal arts education, supported by the Nine Ways of Knowing and the small class sizes which enable relationships to professors appealed to me due to my interest in many different topics and my appreciation of engaging in-class discussions. The geographical location of New York would enable me to continue cultivating my passion for the arts, through visits to the MET or the Frick Collection. I identify strongly with my gender and am interested in issues dea, which is why I would feel comfortable in Barnard, surrounded by young women who feel the same. Learning about empowerment and independence while living in an environment that is not isolated from the other gender seems like a healthy environment to grow into a strong, intelligent and mature woman.

This has to be shortened quite a bit, about 1/3 - it's allowed to be 1000 characters! I think the last few sentences are not very expressive and specific.. please help with over all language/grammar/comma .. shortening and feedback! :) thanks

In here, you use the word environment twice; try picking another similar one.

Apart from that, your essay is good ; you show a lot of determination.
If I were you, I would cut the last, because you kind of repeat what you've already said that you would want to be sourrounded by women and all ...

I dont think it has to be 1000 characters if you upload your essay

I was welcomed/ Virginia Woolf; Barnard College; Good Match/ Majoring in unafraid

How can I extend the second one? please give general feedback and language/punctuation help! thanks xx

2. Pick one woman in history or fiction to converse with for an hour and explain your choice. What would you talk about? (1000 ch.) 864/1000

"Good Morning Mrs. Woolf" I said rather quietly as I approached the illuminated silhouette of a woman with her hair up in a bun, sitting on a bench at the river. "You can call me Virginia," she replied, turning her head to meet my eyes with a dreamy yet determined gaze, "have a seat."

My fascination for Virginia Woolf started three years ago when I read The Waves, and she has been my favourite authoress ever since. I admire the beautiful delicacy of her sentences, combined with a sharp literary accuracy not found in many writers. However, it is not only her creative genius that I admire, but also the woman in her, the feminist. We would talk about language, being a woman, feminism in the early 1900s, her views on the role of women today, her thoughts about society and values, and her opinions on what needs to be done in order to improve these standards.

3. majoring in unafraid (1000 ch.) 972/1000

I remember those warm sunny days, as a young girl on the playground. I would swing so high, my feet nearly touched the branches, making me feel like nothing could ever stop me, like I could touch the clouds if I wanted to, and tried hard enough.

However, when at fifteen I started junior year at UWC, I found myself surrounded by highly intelligent overachievers, and thought I wouldn't be able to keep up with their pace, and couldn't do everything I wanted to afterall.

The frustration I experienced upon discovering my limits threatened to crumble my motivation and determination. However, with time I came to realize that the power of being the best does not compare to that of a strong community of individuals with different strengths and the ability to support and teach each other. Accepting my weaknesses, while appreciating my strengths took maturity and courage. During my two years at the UWC I began what I hope will be a lifelong journey of majoring in unafraid.

I had never considered a single-sex education when my advisor told me about Barnard.
What does this sentence means dude

hey "dude" - what you changed is wrong...

it means that I had never considered going to an all girls school.


your welcome