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Engineering Essay for Columbia University - "Envirothon"



TransferringStu 2 / 6  
Mar 13, 2011   #1
Please tell us why you are attracted to the field of engineering:

Req: 1500 Characters or fewer. Mine is over 1470

Ever since I can remember going to school, my strengths have always been in math and science. As school progressed, the subjects became more difficult, and math became calculus and science became chemistry and physics. My strengths were not in the memorization skills required for medicine or the creative spirit required for art or writing, they were in the conceptual understanding of math and science that is required for engineering.

In my sophomore year of high school, my friends convinced me to join a environmentalist club at my school titled "Envirothon." After three years of working with this club, and seeing tragic natural disasters in our world such as Hurricane Katrina, the Pakistani floods, and the BP Oil Spill, I realized that this aspect of our society, environmentalism, is something that needs our dire help. By mixing my strengths with my interests and a purpose, I was able to decide on and commit to studying Environmental Engineering at college.

I believe that when it comes down to it, all of my, and our, actions should be determined by one concept - how much contribution one is making to society and to the lives of others? By harnessing my ability at math and science, and combining them with my interest in environmentalism and passion for change, I believe that environmental engineering is unequivocally the one field of learning that I can most effectively use to contribute something back to the world, and that is reason enough for me to study it.

Much thanks

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Mar 17, 2011   #2
Ever since I can remember going to school, my strengths have always been in math and science. I really think it is a mistake to begin this way. It is important to be original, and TOO MANY people begin this kind of essay by writing about what "I have always been" doing or interested in.

This is a run on sentence:
My strengths were not in the memorization skills required for medicine or the creative spirit required for art or writing, they were in the conceptual understanding of math and science that is required for engineering.----Just change that comma to a semi-colon and you will be okay! :-)

... needs our dire help. ---I think it is important to word this in a different way, because this is actually not the right way to use "dire."

And use a colon here: ...should be determined by one concept: how much contribution one is ...

:-)


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